Twin Flame Runner

Posted by Theeternalbliss

The Runner is what one of the two twinflames become after the arguments and fights in the beginning of ‘The Dance’ phase of the relationship.  The reason and purpose of these arguments is actually very deep. They happen because deep layers of residue from previous lives is being released and transmuted. This takes us get back to being nothing but LOVE… [This is explained further in 'Why Twinflames Argue']

The conscious mind, however, does not understand what is happening deep inside at the soul level. This is what makes the Runner run.

 The Runner, who is usually the man, is unable to understand consciously what is happening. This happens because he is not aware of the spiritual reality… so he doesnt know whats happening at the soul level… and his mind gets confused because this is unlike anything that has ever happened to him.

The release of the deep layers of negative emotions and ‘residue’ gives him a feeling of uneasiness.  He might not be able to explain this but he just feels ‘irritated’.

He feels that this irritation is caused by the twinflame, when actually the residue which is being released (because it just can’t stay when the twinflame love, which is a much higher energy, comes) is the reason for the irritation.

The runner also feels like he is losing control of himself because he cannot make any sense out of what is happening to him. He tries to figure it out but just can’t. And he gets overwhelmed by the emotions.  All this combined makes him want to escape all this and he runs away from the relationship itself.

 He starts to think its the other twinflame who is the reason for all this and tries to run away from her in order to escape the ‘uneasyness’ which he probably can’t even explain to himself at this point.

All that he wants is to get away from the ‘bad feeling’. This makes him end the relationship very abruptly which is extremely painful for the other partner.

The runner, while all this is happening, is simply very confused.  He loves his twinflame, but gets overwhelmed by all the confusion and think it is because of her.  His mind doesnt know what is going on.  He hasn’t been in something like this ever before, and doesnt know what to do. So he runs.

 The runner’s behaviour is something he himself can’t really explain. It is totally unexpected by the other twinflame who then becomes ‘The Chaser’. If you ask a runner what exactly he is trying to do, he probably won’t be able to tell you.  Why? because he himself doesnt know. He just knows that he wants to escape the relationship.  He’ll probably give you some silly ‘logic’ if you really ask for it… but in reality its just that he is confused.

His heart tells him to stay, because he does feel the love, but he thinks its better to go with the mind.  Being a man (which most runners are), he is conditioned to suppress his feelings and go with ‘logic’… and he can see no logic in staying in something that’s causing him so much trouble.

 Ultimately, however, the Runner does realize the sacred nature of the relationship (after he’s done the running, which can go on for upto years)… and he then returns. And that is when the reunion happens… And that’s where their eternal ‘Happily ever after’ begins…

The Chaser

The Runner And The Chaser

3 Ways To Get Over Someone You Obsess Over

Silent Abuse – Mind Games

How To Be Yourself

Some more links on Twin flames

The Chaser

Why Twin Flame Argue?

How I Know I have Met My Twin Flame?

Twin Flame Relationship Phases

The Twin Flame Runner

Telophilia - Stages of  Twinsoul Union

The Runner and The Chaser

Twin Flame Signs

Why Twin Flame Separate?

Why Twin Flames Have Strong Telepathic Connections

203 comments on “Twin Flame Runner

  1. Oh my yes.

    • :-)

      • I have met my TF and he has run – to literally the other side of the planet and after 4 months he got engaged to someone else. We have syncranicity all the time, I dream about him then randomly bump into him after we have both been out of the country and the area we met for months. I contact him and he says he was just thinking about me. When I tell people how we met it was such a bizarre coincidence that even sceptical friends think it is weird! Reading your advice has offered some comfort but I feel like I have lost something so huge and for me no one else comes close and I find it impossible to be with anyone else. I feel like I have grown and his friendship is valuable and comforting but sometimes the huge loss I have experienced feels greater than the gain.

      • N77, this is just my opinion but I feel we were lost before our twin came along. Then once we met and bonded with them we felt like we were home again. Like this is it, this is what we have searched our whole lives for….

        In an instant and out the blue we were given this a amazing experience with someone who knows us more than we know ourselves. And, just as magical as they came they disappeared. It’s almost feel like you imagine everything because it was so surreal and out of this world.

        However, I think we have to work on fixing that hole or emptiness we feel within ourselves. Our twin just showed us how messed up we really were inside. We needed a really good mirror to see how we have become lost and blinded by the years, our environment and influences. We forgot who we were deep down inside and how to truly love ourselves and do for ourselves.

        Let’s start taking care of our inner child again. Now, we are adults we can do what we always wanted to do. There are no restrictions anymore, we don’t need to impress our parents, teachers, or other people in our lives to be love or feel love. We are the love we seek :-)

      • I’m sorry divine. I have to disagree with you here. When I met my twin I was very much my own person. I was very loving toward me and all around me and it was not false at all. That is what made the pain that much worse. I was confused as to how this happened to me when I had faced so many demons, learned to love unconditionally, etc. What you speak of can be true with a soul mate but not a twin flame. The twin flame only comes into our lives when we are ready to excel even further than is possible without them.

    • I’ve been given the proof of what you are saying here Divine. You are so right. I was lost and meeting my tf forced me to see who I really am. Without meeting him I wouldn’t have been able to do what I’m doing now and to get through what I had to go through the last year. All the pieces of the puzzle have fallen into place now.
      I read this before, but only now I realize what this actually means. Thank you from the depth of my heart. I am where I’m supposed to be thanks to you and my tf.

      • Hi Netty! Just wanted to let you know you’re the BEST and I appreciate You… Hugs

  2. Pingback: What Is A Twin Flame/Twin Soul? | Soul Love

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  5. Reading the stages of TwinFlame reunion, I now understand what it means to be the chaser. I now understand the separation pain, and what I need to do in order to heal and let things happen. Its not easy, but all of this is happening for a reason… the final reunion. Also, I understand that if I don’t accept myself along with my current situation(including the financial part), my TF will not accept me either. Does that make sense?

    • Yes :-) It makes sense…It will appear as you just said it on the outside. However, I think our twin has always accepted us. We are the one that haven’t accepted ourselves. When we fully accept our present self and situation, it will appear as if they finally accepted us but it was we that wasn’t accepting ourselves and it was mirrored back to us in our twin. I remembered told my twin I love him and his reply was and I quote “You Don’t Love Me …” and I felt every word in his response. I strongly believe he believed that I did not love him… I felt pity for him in that moment… I saw him as a child in that moment… I did not respond to that reply… I didn’t know what to say to him because I realized in that moment he was hurting and appeared broken… So, no matter what I do or say if He doesn’t love and accept Himself… and see all the greatness and awesomeness I see in him. He will not see or be able to accept the love I offer him as genuine… In his mind he see me a mocking him or playing games when in all sincerity all I have his love for him. I have always accepted and love him but he needs to love and accept himself to see that I truly love and accept him.

      • i am so happy for you that you’re now reunitined!!!! so wonderful to hear that these inconceivably difficult relationships actually work-out
        that you don’t need to be “perfect” in order to reunite. i think that is one of my deepest fears – that “oh no, if i can’t figure out how to be perfect then she won’t ever come back.
        the pain & desperation of seperation is excruciating!!!!
        i m 16 months into what i felt so sure was a twin-flame relationship…. at present, everything has turned so bad that i am feeling like “i made it all up”
        i m so exhausted.

      • This could have been written by me. Except When I expressed my feelings before saying goodbye..I did not know if I would ever get to express them again.. He called me fake.said It was all words. I made him sick.. I could go on and on..asked me to go away and never come back.. And I was clueless on where all that was coming from. I could only feel love for him. Even after hearing all that all I can do is love him. It makes me sad that why he could not see my love. 10 yrs is not a short time. We were never a couple.. Have only met once after 8 yrs. But we know we are not friends either. 10yr is a long time to stay in touch without meeting .. If they don’t mean anything.. I am digressing.. Anyways although it hurts to be treated like this but what I also thought was that he needs to love himself first.. Think himself worthy .. Before he can believe someone else could love him too .. Exactly the way he is… Love both the good and and the bad in him. He is not perfect but if only I could make him understand how awesome I think he is.. I hope he forgives me for whatever I hurt him for.. Hope he someday understand my love..

  6. Thanks for reminding me that our TF always accepts us the way we are because they are our mirror. Meditating will help me accept myself and help eliminate the doubts and fears and pain of separation gnawing at me still. Also, I’m aware that it might take a few meetings before we finally reunite. Trust in Diving Timing is the key. I have to remind myself of that every time I miss him.

  7. I wanted to share my ‘story’ with you, I met my TF 3yrs ago, I had a moment prior to meeting him while out with a friend, not knowing him at that point, I had an overwhelming feeling of someone that was going to come into my life and I would ‘eat my words’ because I was critizing my friends situation with a man she was involved with. Within a matter of weeks this man rocked up and instantly i new him, I felt comfortable with him, which for me is out of character I had little confideance in men but with him it was different at that point I had no idea what or who he was, his situation was that we could not be togther even though we had this massive ‘connection’. We became friends and with lots of confusion I started to look into what we were and found out about TF and new that this is what he was. We have had 3 seperations and come back together each time, the last one was the hardest back in January he ‘ran’ again but I stopped ‘chasing’ because i could do it no more, I still have issues around my own ego and dealing with it and letting it go, but 5 weeks ago he came back to me and I think, infact i’m sure that this is it for us, we still have Karma to deal with which we are sorting out but we are in each others lives now for the rest of our time on earth. This time feels so much different than the times we came back together before. At the minute I am calm about our situation, don’t get me wrong I have had so many times where i felt I was going insane with this whole thing, asking myself how can something that feels so right not meant to be .. ?? .. I now know that we have been going through a process and had to go through all this to get to this point .. I’m still learning and still working towards our end goals but I know that I have never experienced ‘love’ like this or comtenment .. :0)

    • I’m happy for you Lisa… Thanks for sharing your story… Our stories are all so similar. Yours help put things in perspective for us and give us hope. You said,
      “5 weeks ago he came back to me and I think, in fact i’m sure that this is it for us, we still have Karma to deal with which we are sorting out but we are in each others lives now for the rest of our time on earth. This time feels so much different than the times we came back together before.”

      So, does this means you and your twin are finally reunited??? Just want to make sure I read it correctly… I think I read it correctly… Thanks again for sharing your story please give us an update :-)

      Best wishes :-)

      • Yes we have finally reunited .. :0) ..but we are still working out alot but I am more sure now than ever that we will be together, I hope that all TF can have the endings that make them happy .. :0)

      • Good Morning Divine Grace .. I hope you are well, I thought I would give you an update on my TF, been a fab couple of months with him and we are closer than ever, but I am contemplating running this time, just temporarily, he has so much to sort out so we can be together fully and we have no idea on time scale and I am still having to work on my ego because I am hurting every time he goes home after been with me, I in no way doubt is feelings for me or his commitment to me but it’s still hard and I know its my ego talking, he is busy with his buissness and so am I and I think I need to concentrate on that to keep me going while I deal with my personal issues, something so wonderful is so hard at times and all of us that are going through our own personal issues must keep strong and trust and believe that everything that is meant to be will be all good in the end .. :0)

      • Hello Divine, you have some of the best advice. I was wondering if you could give me some advice. I’m the chaser and my beloved is the runner. However, over the past year he has constantly gotten in contact with me via texting. I would feel the connection with him and then BOOM he is gone and starts ignoring me. Acts as though I don’t even exists. Is this normal runner behavior?

  8. Thanks for sharing your story Lisa. I, too, felt totally comfortable with my TF both times we met. Its saying alot because I have had trust issues with men in the past. You went through what I’ going through. So I am more certain that I have met my TF. We saw each other twice in the last four months. Distance and circumstances are still obstacles for us, but I know this is because we are not fully ready to be together yet. I believe in Divine Timing. Until then, I continue to prepare myself for the final reunion.

    • Thanks for replying Jackie…
      I think Lisa has reunited with her twin finally.. :-)
      Third time’s a charm :-)

    • Take comfort Jackie that it will come together for you too, I have been through so many ups and downs with mine but always new we would end up at this point and I know no matter what else we have to overcome together we can do anything .. :0)

      • Thanks Lisa for your encouragements :-) I still sometimes have trouble believing i have met my TF. But I know its part of the whole process and its our mind that doesn’t fully grasp what our hearts and souls are telling us. Did it take you some time before realizing you had met your TF?

      • Thank you so much Lisa for sharing :-)
        You are a blessing… :-)

      • Jackie, i new straight away he was a ‘soul mate’ I’m not sure how long before i started searching and found out about TF but it was’nt very long, maybe a few weeks, I do think that every horrible realationship and every good one for that matter as helped me prepare for this one man, I do think i am much further forward than he is but I think has women we are much higher beings than men which is why men are usually the runners and women are the chasers. I still have lots to achieve but so dose he and I am strong enough to deal with it now. Jackie, listen to that voice that tells you it’s right, instinct is an amazing thing and it’s never wrong.

        Thank you for letting me share DivineGrace, if I can help other people just to belive in what they feel is true and is right. I know how hard I struggled in the begining with all of this and sometimes I was in such a dark place but always at the pit of my stomache what i was feeling was right I new everything was going to be ok .. :0)

  9. Yes, Divine Grace, I also think third time is a charm :-D I’m so grateful for this website. Reading your TF stories really do help me. At first, I thought meeting my TF was all a happy event at most. I never thought I have finally met my one true love. And on vacation in Vegas of all places. :-D I had gone there to get away for a few days, see a show. Of course, something powerful had guided me there. People and circumstances and synchronicities have made sure I met my TF at that precise moment. And I’m so thankful. If you were reunited with your TF’s, I will be too when Divine timing is right.

    • Jackie there is hope :-) As dark and as hopeless it may seem at times… We are not crazy … The love is real… Everything in divine timing :-) Bless your heart Jackie :-)

  10. When the runner runs, do they just act normal or do they tend to show self destructive behavior first almost like throwing it in the chasers face. Ie; partying a lot, putting pics up with scantily clad opposite sex while partying on face book knowing the chaser will see it, talking to everyone but the chaser…..?
    I’m not asking if its diliberate, I don’t think it’s necessarily to intentionally hurt but more push away?

    • Eag907, I think the runner is very confused and is trying to get away from the chaser, so he might do things to hurt the chaser because he believe the chaser has hurt him or doesnot truly love him… I remember when I was trying get my twin to open up about his emotions. It would make him very uncomfortable. I would push him to open up and he would say he can’t, I found it odd that he couldn’t open up about his emotions with me…

      At the time I wasn’t aware what was happening or how difficult it was for him. So I kept pushing him and he slowly started backing away from me… Then the arguments started… Then we started blaming each other for the breakdown in the union… I remember after the arguments started he said I didn’t love him which on the contrary I love him very much but he didn’t see it that way…

      And, I didn’t understand why he was behaving the way he did… We were both confused in a way… I thought I was helping him by getting him to open up because I felt his pain and hurt and I thought I could help him heal himself… However, it was very difficult for him and I could not understand why it was so hard form him since expressing my emotions comes very easy for me….

      Whatever, the reason he is doing what he is doing is a normal part of the process… They are pushing us away so we can go and work on ourselves away from them… We need to do our own soul searching and self discovery separate from our twins….

      Our twins love us and is reacting out of confusion and frustration. But, that doesn’t mean we should accept their behavior… Sometimes you have to walk away from the relationship if it’s not healthy for you… If you are supposed to be together you will and nothing can stop… However, do not put up with his bad behaviour. As hard as it is to walk away from him… You have to make that decision. When you guys are ready the reunion will happen… ;-) do not sacrifice yourself for him that’s not love… Love is kind, caring, understanding and nurturing.

      • After reading on the internet about ‘runners’ I feel the need to post something. I met my twin last summer and travelled across the ocean to be with him. The moment I arrived it felt like he had shut down, would not let me in anymore. He started to push all my buttons and engaged in what many people refer to as ‘bad’ behavior. I do recognize that his behavior in any ‘normal’ relationship would be unacceptable but the fact that he pushed exactly those buttons that needed to be pushed makes me question if we should just agree on he fact that it is ‘unacceptable’. Every time he would make a hurtful comment I felt like I was being stabbed with a knife, it hurt so much, but I didn’t leave (also, I couldn’t just leave because I was miles away from home and somehow he kept convincing me to stay) and I went through the emotions, looked at them, felt the pain, cried, screamed, went out of my mind, and it really helped me. I was as if he just drew out all those last bits of fear and ego that still resided in me (i’m sure I have some ego left but the larger part is just… gone, and I feel so clear-headed, it made so much space in my head and I feel very different, better, peaceful). Eventually I had to leave because his behavior didn’t really change, and also we both knew it wasn’t meant to be at this time. But I stuck it out for as long as I felt it was helping me even though in ‘normal’ circumstances it would be considered very bad, even abusive behavior. Maybe ‘runners’ are supposed to do that to us, it’s part of the process of clearing our karma. Any thoughts?

  11. After being bombarded with 11:11 none-stop, every single day, several times a day for the last 3 years, I postponed my wedding. I actually stumbled upon this website after googling 11:11 and came across this article. I had googled the meaning of 11:11 many times before but hadn’t come cross this article… I have been seeing 11:11 and hearing it in the most disturbing ways… These are JUST very recent events: I look at the clock at 11:11 in the morning and on many nights (and I am not a clock watcher! I maybe look at the clock 4 times/day), I have a Starbucks gold rewards card and my balance was recently $11.11, my bank account balance at one point was $1111.11 ( I wish I was joking…I almost hard a heart attack…I was like…wow, ok, what is it? please be upfront, I can’t read between the lines) I had sent my mechanical watch in for fixing (it was lagging), I take the bus to work and back home, and I have an irregular work schedule (I can go in when I like) and for a three days in a row, whenever I asked for the time I heard the following: first day: 11:11am (when going to work) second day: 11:11pm (when returning home) and third day: 1:11pm in the afternoon. On the second day I was shocked to hear it was exactly 11:11 and on the third day I was just stunned… the look on my face must have been terrified.
    Everytime I have taken the subway I have looked at the time and it has been 11:11… Anyhow, all this to say… I know something is going on, and it is really bothering me. I am not religious, I am a female scientist and have a really hard time accepting the whimsically strange and ‘almost’ supernatural events that occur in my life and and by the universe without a logical explanation. I was not always like this… I used to be more spiritual, more idealistic and less cynical.

    My story is long and I apologize for filling the first paragraph with 11:11, but I honestly need to hear your take on what you think is going on.

    When I came across the twin-flame explanation, it did more than revive old feelings, I felt connected with my twin-flame. I met my twin-flame in my freshman year at university. He did not particularly catch my eye at first, but I found him intriguing. After speaking to him on a few occasions, we developed a strange bond. We were both busy with our studies in engineering and would chat if we ran into each other. We became a lot closer, our energies were great together. At the end of my freshman year, I couldn’t wait anymore and I took action. He was excited to hear it and we dated (although we didn’t really get to know each other as we were both very busy ) for a short period. Then he ran from me. It as abrupt and it made me very depressed. For the next year, he would come back to me and then leave on various occasions. Our energy together was phenomenal and our chemistry was as though we had spent many past lives together. We were not dating but lived in the same city (a large urban city.) The strangest thing happened to me during this time – I started getting strange shivers on certain mornings… I would get a feeling that I would run into him that day, and it would happen. My own friends witnessed this… where I told them how I felt and that I had a strange and scary telepathic emotional connection with him. At first my best friend thought I was crazy, but it was after several incidences that she herself could not believe that it was somehow true. Of course, most people don’t experience the twin-flame – it really is a mixed blessing.

    So anyway, he ran away… and ran to another continent, but kept in touch with me. Every year at Christmas time, he would come back home to visit his mom and would make sure to meet with me. He would go out of his way to make sure to see me. We had a few incidences where we spoke for hours and hours. At one point, I asked him if he believes in past lives? I brought up the possibility that we knew each other from a past life. I don’t think he was ready to hear it although he was receptive to the idea. Back then I was the chaser.

    Since then, I have become engaged to my fiance of over five years. I still talk to my twin flame over skype and see him when he continues to visit his family at Christmas time, but I mask my emotions when I see him. I pretend he is a bad person and convince myself of it. After all, he did run away from me and hurt me many times before. He is also in a serous relationship of similar length. He recently asked for me input in selecting/designing an engagement ring. He has had the ring for a month now but has not yet proposed. I dream about him every now and then (very occasionally, memorably once every 3-4 months.) I have never felt the chemistry and emotional connection I felt with him with anyone else. My panic over all of this and over separate issues with my own fiance actually led me to postponing my previously scheduled wedding (my excuse was that we could save more money). I don’t know what to think of all of the 11:11s and I don’t know if it has to do with my twin flame or with my current relationship, my spiritual awareness or my career path? I also was wondering, I have stopped chasing, should I just accept that, although he seems to be finished running, it is too late for us? Or should I just accept that we can be friends?(even though I am far too attracted to him to be his friend)

    I’m not sure how I will feel when he proposes to his girlfriend, but it will just make things more difficult and impossible for us. This past Christmas, he treated me as though he was my boyfriend (calling me, messaging me everyday, having lunch with me) while he was here for one month (although nothing physical took place, obviously, I’m engaged -which was frustrating) but it felt like he was testing out a relationship with me for the month while he was here. I was very sick (emotionally) and stressed before he came to visit and became so happy and healthy for that month while he was part of my life. I think he really is my twin flame… I would write about the strange “coincidences” of running into him and our telepathic talking in a journal when I was younger… this article revived the feelings and I can feel myself telling him that I miss him now.

    • Hi Sandy :-) Thanks for sharing your story… There are some very interesting information and comments under the 11:11 and Twinflames that you might find very insightful… You should check it out and a few of the other posts in the right-hand column… You will realize some of the most profound answers are found in reading others story…. The stories are all so similar yet so different at the same time…

      I always say follow your heart only you know what’s best for you… Also, to know and understand your twin is to know and understand yourself…. What you think he has done to you are actually what you are doing to yourself… No one outside ourselves can truly hurt us … Not even our twin… Our twins are only a reflection of our inner pain and turmoils… They are also a reflection our inner love, joy and peace… To see perfection in yourself is to see perfection in your twin…

      Keep sharing your story… It doesn’t matter how long or short it is… There are a lot of pain and confusion that need to be released or it will only create a build up and cause you more pain…

      Godspeed :-)

  12. I met someone 9 years ago online. He found me. When we met, I felt like I had known him forever. He ran after the first date. Returned 2 months later, ran again and has been doing that for years. I don’t chase him, I always let him find me. We go on meet 5 times a year. I just felt I should let him lead.
    Last year he got engaged and I found out when I saw the announcement online. He said nothing. It hurt so bad, but I released him and congratulated him. He said ” um Thanks”.
    2 months before his wedding, I had a dream where I was saying a final good bye and he told me not to leave. It felt so vivid. Then 2 weeks later in real life he wrote and told me he couldn’t go through with the wedding because he felt a “strange connection” to me. He broke off the engagement. We met, it was intense and I ran.
    He found me again this year, and I feel like this is it this time. I felt he’s changed, and telepathy has increased. ..I feel him touch me right before he texts. Scary and awesome.

    • Thanks for sharing Flower ;-) That’s an awesome story… 9 years is a long time to wait around for someone… Were you involve in other relationship as well during that time… I know you said your twin was… Did you find synchronicities in that you were going through similar things at similar times? Let us know…

      • Thanks for your response divine!
        I chose not to wait for him, but to let nature take its course. I dated, i prayed, fasted…etc to get my t.f. out of my system and convinced myself I was really in love with another man… Had a baby with him, but knew I needed to be with t.f. Who declared his love just before I told him I was pregnant and was going to make it work with the other man. It didn’t work.
        T.f. And I have had many life situations happen at the same time. .. but wish things were smoother. I have given up fighting the process because I may be wrong, but there’s obviously something I need to learn karmically from him, so I’m more open to learn now:-) lol

      • Good for you flower :-) The best lessons are learned the hardest way. My passed relationships be it friendship or romantic have thought me lot and that is to trust my instincts… If something doesn’t feel right walk away and if something feels right stay… For along time I normally fall for those people with there sad stories or the ones who pretended to be weak because I felt it was my duty to save or help people…However, in doing that I was sacrificing so much of myself… For what? I don’t know… Because half the time they don’t appreciate it anyway… It’s a good thing no good deed goes unrewarded and it’s not who you give to who will always repay you….

        I have also learn a lot in the last year about myself with this twin soul connection… I feel like the walking dead now…Sometimes I really don’t know if I am dead or alive… But, there is a freedom in it, because if I am dead and still walking the earth and can communicate with you guys… I can do whatever I want :-) Say whatever I want ;-)

  13. Hi Divine , How r u ? How are things going at your end . I am kind of tired of everything , Trying to bring courage that he is far from me , Sometimes think practically and sometimes emotionally. Its very challenging .
    Been a long time chatting with you ;-)

    • It has been awhile since we chat Goldy… I am glad we connected again :-) …. I have grown a lot since last chatted I believe… When we last spoke I was in the midst of the confusion and pain. I am much better and more aware of myself now and the spiritual reality… How have you been Goldy?

      • I am good. I have become more spiritual , Pain is still there but reduced then before .
        I have realized , These soul connections as they are very deep …it takes time for things to come out . Anyways I have become more spiritual and have come more close to God . :-)

  14. I met my twin 3 yrs and 4 months ago. We date for almost 2.5 years. I have known him all my life but didn’t date until 3 years ago. I would tell him I love him and sometimes his response would be “why do you love me?” and “how much do you love me?” It never seemed to be enough that I just did. He did admit that I loved him like no one else has before, but still that was not enough for him. We have broken up for the second time and he is in another relationship and living with her when I could never get him to do that. Since we have broken up a year ago we have had minimal contact. I have gotten 2 “accidental text messages” of recent. He claims they were not for me. He never once “accidentally texted me in 2.5 years. So my questions are 1. Was he asking me those questions because he didn’t believe I could love him and that he doesn’t love himself? 2. Are the “accidental text messages” a way in which spirit keeps us in contact and 3. If he is truly my twin how could he get into another relationship and better yet live with her? Thank you.

    • I don’t know the answers to your questions… Only you know the answers to your question :-) you need to do some soul searching and in time you will receive the answers to your own question… Do you really love him? What do you love about him? Why do you love him? Do you love you? Why do you love you?

      Love is something that’s felt… It need no words. The twinsoul or twinflame connection is not necessarily about romance… It’s more about self-discovery and finding yourself, your true self… The love that’s made up of I love you, roses and chocolates are not always love… Sometime love is harsh and cruel… But, is what you become because of it that makes all the difference…

      Your twinsoul cannot make you happy and they cannot make you whole… They only can reflect to you what’s broken in you… Any love you see in him is in you and any hurt you think he has caused you is what you have caused Yourself… I spent a lot of time blaming my twin for my issues, my shortcomings, my problems…. That’s not fair to anyone not even our worst enemy. At some point we have to take full and complete responsibility for ourselves… Our pain, our hurt, for us

      A man is just a man… They are not God…

      They are only wonderful because we love them and we feel we need them or we feel they can fulfill some emptiness inside us… Once you fulfill yourself your desire for him and the pain you feel will drastically reduce…

      He is just a man ;-)…You can cursed him out if it makes you feel better… But, eventually you have to surrender and take responsibility for your happiness or sadness…

      • Thank you for the reply. I know that no one can make you happy and I do know what love is. I do love him and probably always will. That is what I will have to deal with for the rest of my life. And yes I love myself and am happy with myself. I am old enough and wise enough to know no man is God. I have been going through this process for a year and when I was in the thick of it, it seemed impossible to get out. But a year later and I am in a far different place. I stopped chasing after 3 months and somehow he will find some reason to contact me. But nothing has changed. I am smart enough to know that I don’t want to be somebody’s second choice. When and if he is ready to end his current relationship and make our relationship a priority then I will be open to hearing what he has to say. We have been thrown together for more than 20 years but never a relationship until now that we are both in our forties. I am fairly certain I know the answers to my questions, it’s my intuition that I doubt at times.

      • Bless your heart ;-)

  15. Has anyone brought up the idea of soul connections to the “runner” in the relationship? If so, how did you bring it up and how did they react? Is it even a good idea to say anything in the first place?

    • Michele I brought it to mine later on but I believe he already knew something before I brought it to him. My twin and I are very synchronized it almost like what I know, he knows. It’s like we are receiving same or similar information at same or similar times. I find it useless telling him anything because I get the feeling he knows everything. Sometimes I just tell him stuff for reassurance or to get information from him to reassure me of what I believe to be true is true…

  16. He brought it up to me when we first started dating. In an email he wrote “I love our conversations, our chit chats. And I love you. I feel this certain connection to you. As if it was always there, but we installed new wires, called in an electrician, and actually made the connection stronger.” I never even heard of TF til I contacted a psychic who told me that was what we were and to look up Steve Gunn. My intuition tells me that this is true but I always doubt my intuition.

  17. All i can say is being totally unhumble saying this which is bad… after what i been through but … i wanted this girl soooooo bad then i got her and it was about to move to the next step.. and i started panicing.. a huge amount and fear and confusion came into my head… questions like ‘what the hell? This will never work, why am i with her? What now? Etc hundreds of negative questions fogged my mind at the speed of light
    .so much so i went outside for a ciggarette to get away for a few minutes to pull myself together.. as this was in work and we work together i needed whatever space i could, i knew she had just had a smoke literally 15 minutes ago so she cant possibly come out now……..

    But literally as i wasnt even half way down my cigarette she followed me out .. as soon as i saw her i felt so irritated i just wanted to tell her to go away. And in a sense i did.. i had a missed text i looked at my phone and it was hers.. and i told her that in the most monotone disapointed voice ever…. then i asked her why she was out here again after just having a smoke literally 5 minutes ago… i turned and became so nasty i dont even know why.. just as soon as she came near me i felt sooooo irritated and angry…..

    And i could see she was upset.. and i knew i love her but couldn’t explain why i did what i did.. so the quickest solution i coukd think of was to lean in and kiss her lol…. big mistake obviously she blew me off. Whcih hurt me… abd i was already devistated at the way i treated her…

    So i finished worked went home and i was distraught.. confused and angry at myself and full of fear…. i just remember being the lowest of lows then literally after that little moment i felt reborn… i cant put the experience into words but whoever has truely been through this will know…. it claims some take years. It literally took me 10 minutes….. it felt like everything negative and bad had left me and i truely believed and lived myself again.. it was the most amazing feeling ever… then later on i find out from the internet about twin flames…. and twin souls…

    With me it is a weird senario because although i am the runner. I had nowhere to run and i also adjusted myself really quick so i dont need to run away for years.. but now i am just waiting for her to gain trust in me again and open up again… abd next time i wont be running.. i want her more than anything in the world…. and now i have met her noone could replace her… the unconditional love i have for her is beyond words…. it does sound obssessive and crazy .. but that what true unconditional love is… we were taught in this world to play games and not be to clingy cause we look desperate…… but the truth is both of us could walk out that door and find another date with ease.. i know i could find someone else so easily… but i couldnt imagine being with someone else now i have met her.. she is perfect… and more importantly brought me closer to god also.. which means the world to me….. to me she is god. Cause she is perfect for me…

    • Bless your heart Kev ;-) Thanks for sharing your story. I am sure most of the chasers will appreciate you sharing the runners perspective. Godspeed and wish you a speedy reunion

    • Friend, please tell me… I was in the same situation as you. I waited so long for him, to choose me, I really wanted him so bad, but when the chance came, and he was in my hands, I fell in panic and I thought “I don’t need him I don’t love him” And then, took me weeks to realize that I was wrong, I wanted him more than before, but he was hurted and angry at me… now he is the runner.

  18. I try to explain my story but it is very difficult because words are insufficient. I was sure that in one day I wolud meet special man. I beleive this with all my heart because I feel this very strongly. I have waited him for a long time and ultimately I met him. There was a special connection between us. Later I understood that he was my twin flame. I thought I was so lucky. He had the same ideas with me. Then suddenly he changed. He run away from me. I feel that he know there is very special relation between us but he isn’t ready and afraid of such a big love. I dont know what ı can do. I know that it doesn’t seems logical but I will wait him all my life because I am sure I can’t feel such an deep, strong and spirutal love with anyone else.

    • Canan, what you have and are experiencing is so real and so natural in this twinflame journey. Just know he loves you as much as you love him. The separation, confusion, doubts and fears are all apart of the process. You will get through and you will be fine as difficult as it may seem or be at times…

  19. Cant believe i have met my TF!!! Reading all these comment is making so much sense.
    I met my TF under unusual circumstances and it was all v.unexpected and happened suddenly. Met him abroad on a v.religious event somewhere where you would not expect this to happen.
    Attraction was intense not to mention when i was said bye to him at the airport it felt wrong leaving him. Felt like i was his wife and he was part of me although i hardly knew him really. Its something i cant explain.
    We did exchange numbers and emails.
    Instantly on email we exchanged our feelings. I never understood how i can have feelings for someone that i didnt really know all that well.
    He never understood why he had such strong feelings for me either, something he had never felt before. We trust each other completely and i dont trust men easily. Iv been single 10 years so that says it all
    Anyway situation now, he is the runner and im the chaser. He ran from it all saying he is confused and im chasing but i stopped chasing for 5 months as it was mentally draining. He came back and ran again.
    This all happened last october and its nearly a year. He is in my mind, my head, my heart. He is the only one i want i cant see my future with anyone but him.
    I hope he comes back to me quickly and this time stays.

    • Thanks for sharing your story Ria… The twin will return. It’s all apart of the process :-)

    • Rita I understand what you are going through me and my TF had the same instant connection met under weird circumstances and he persued me but when we started to talking we were both so comfortable with One another like we knew each other forever. We didn’t start dating until late last year but from march to aug 2012 we would talk everyday but never hung out an then he ran and we were seperated from aug 2012 to nov 2012 when he came back things were good for awhile then the fighting the breaking up started then finally last month he ran again says he no longer loves me has been with other girls already I haven’t seen him in a month I chased and chased cried lost 20lbs I was so sick couldn’t get out of bed I felt like my soul had died we haven’t had contact in 2 weeks I finally decided to let him go and I haven’t called or text him. He hasn’t contacted me but something in my heart tells me he wants to but isn’t ready and I’m honestly not ready either. I feel his spirit I dream of him I even have had a few telepathic expirences with him I’m not fully surrendered yet but the more I cry about it and get it out of my system the better I feel. I know we both need this time to heal and become better people and have better lives. Just hang in there and be strong. It’s a really hard journey but I’m thankful I found this blog and Divine and the others because I really thought I was going crazy but it all is starting to make sense now. I know he will come back but I need to practice patience independence and stop being so insecure those were my issues in my TF relationship my insecurities caused so many fights I always felt not good enough. I was impatient with him he was not emotional he didn’t talk about his feelings and I use to push him and I was too dependent on him. Now I’m learning to correct all these things for my own happiness not his or anyone else’s. It’s a hard process but I’m determined to make it. Don’t give up!

  20. I am in this stage now with my twin flame. He is running from me says he does not love me or want to be with me. I feel very confused and hurt by his actions. He has told me he has been with other people and he’s happy being single and living his life. I’m not sure if he feels the same way I feel about us being twin flames. Whenever I bring it up he just ignores it and doesn’t want to talk about it. He has a lot of pain and hurt that he holds deep inside he keeps everything bottled up. We haven’t had any contact in about 4 days. Im unsure if I should keep trying or just give him space.

    • Dawn, he loves you very much. I hope you understand that separation is apart of the process for growth to occur…

      • I pray and hope he does love me even though he says he no longer does. Has been two weeks since we last talked and over a month since I saw him last. I’m feeling alot better than I did before and starting to surrender and let go but I do still think about him and miss him dearly. I’ve been working on myself and getting my life on track and fulfilling goals and dreams I’ve always had. I’m even planing to make contact with my real father and other siblings. I’m remaining positive and hopeful and hoping my positivity and “glow” as you call it encourages my TF to make his own changes and growth but I know I can only focus on me and that’s it. However I have been seeing the 11:11 alot and also I find myself in what I would like to call a karmic relationship with a man I’ve been friends with for years. He has gone through the TF process and is in the surrender stage. He has helped me alot and I believe me and him have a soul mate connection. He accepts me unconditionally and he is the man I want my TF to be if that makes sense. I feel my friendship with him is somehow preparing me for either something greater coming or my reunion with my TF. I’m not quiet sure but I feel like something is shifting and I feel peace coming my way. Thank you for allowing me to vent and giving me encouragement Divine I’m not sure where I would be without finding this blog or this information.

      • You are welcome Dawn, I am glad you are doing better. Sometimes we meet other people after we have met our Twinflames that also help us to heal as well. Sometimes they are men, sometimes they are women and sometimes both. That’s the beauty of the universe… When we are in pain and feel lost God or the universe has a way of sending us what we need to help us along on our journey. It may not always be what we want but it’s always what we need…

        Hugs :-)

  21. I can’t even begin to tell you how much all of this resonates with me. I’m a runner, and I have been running from my twinflame for seven years. In those seven years I hadn’t been able to fully love her the way I wanted to love her. But I was never able to let go of her either. I broke up with her so many times causing her so much pain, but she always took me back. She was so sure of our love that it was always in her mind that we would work things out somehow and be together forever. Meanwhile I was never able to figure out what was going (wr)on(g). Of course, there were the many excuses that now seem so ridiculous and forfeited.

    During the seven years that we were together I started to hate myself more and more. I thought I was strange or maybe even mentally ill for not being able to express my love for this beautiful and sweet young woman. I did the best I could and we had our good times for sure, but never too long. When the good times stopped, my behaviour was unaccounted for. It was like watching an accident happen over and over again and being stuck to the ground, standing by and not being able to help out in any way. I was in hell. We were in hell.

    It took me a year to convince myself that the best thing to do was to kill myself. I could not live with her or without her so this was probably the best solution. I wanted her to continue her life. I figured that she deserved a person that could give her the love that I felt she deserved. I wasn’t going to be that person. I was also not the person seeing her with another man. So I made up my mind and broke up with her one last time. The break up was very emotional. We had long talks and we cried for hours during and shortly after. I semi-moved out of my house so she would have the space and time to find herself a new house. Meanwhile we would still gravitate to each other, maintaining a peaceful, loving and friendly relationship.

    My plan was for her to move out, and when she would be gone and on her own I would end my life in private. I wished for those things to be separate incidents. As silly as it may sound, I didn’t want her to be linked to my death in any way.

    And then one morning I received a phone call of a good friend asking me if I knew where she was. My twinflame didn’t show up for an appointment, which is not a normal thing for her to do. I tried calling her but she never picked up. Right then I felt something was wrong. I rushed to my appartment and found her dead in our bed. Six weeks shy of her 31st birthday she simply never woke up. She looked so peaceful, as if she layed her body down and left it with grace. How could this be? I mean, HOW COULD THIS BE? I was devestated and in shock, but on the same time I was chrystal clear in my mind and in my heart. Right then and there I knew the truth of things. It wasn’t suicide. She just dropped her body and moved on into a different realm. As part of an agreement, a contract that both she and I on a soul level knew of, she left this physical world and continued her part of the deal from the heavens.

    But my pain was too big, so I kept forgetting this truth. Ever since it’s like going in and out of a tunnel. Now you see truth, now you don’t. I took a long time off from everything I knew and decided to rebuild my world. So that’s what I’ve been doing over the past time. I am urged to leave old ways and walk a different path. The old is not working for me anymore so I have to release it and welcome in the new.

    Lately, she’s beckoning me. There have always been dreams, signs and so on, but lately she is urging me to do my part and come home so we will be united again. I walk out of the house I see feathers, I look out of the window I see feathers. My belly is glowing with her presence and her love, and ‘miracles’ occur more frequently. Butterflies show up in unexpected places at unexpected times. I say things that don’t seem to make much sense at the time and then later my words prove right in an eerie fashion. My cell phone acts funny at very crucial times making sure I’m missing out on specific (job) opportunities or apparent (love) interests, electricity around the house or wherever I go behaves out of pattern. The synchronicity in my life is not to be ignored any longer. I look at the clock and see 9:11 or 12:34 so often it’s hard to believe it’s sheer coincidence. Now also 11:11 starts showing up more often.

    Meanwhile people tell me to let go of her and focus on new love interests. I tried because they told me to, but love has a different meaning now. I meet wonderful and interesting women, and I don’t compare, but when with these women I find that my interest is not with them. Most of the time I feel like all of this I have experienced before in previous lifetimes and that I am not here to pursue or recreate any of that – no wife, no kids, no new karma. I feel like completing one big task that consists of a series of things and then ascend off into the light and be with my woman, my twinflame, again. We are both on a trip and we are playing things out as a couple, a two-part being that is still united. The level of love I am experiencing is not to be described with words. The tremendous feeling of love and truth I am experiencing can only be compared to an OBE I had when I was 20 years old.

    I hope this story is interesting enough for you to read. I never told anyone or opened up to anyone like this before. I believe we have a few powertools with which we create life. One is what I refer to as knowing, the other, of course, is fear. Don’t renounce the fear for it’s just a tool. Embrace it, and embrace the experiences they bring you, however painful they may be, but stop using it when you’re done. Like you put down toys that you outgrow as a kid, you can put down fear. And then use the knowing for it will bring you closer to who you have always been and always will be. Yes, you are that knowing right now. You probably don’t experience it that way, but also that is a choice you decided to make a long time ago. It’s all good. It’s just the universe unfolding itself to experience itself in, through and around you. In that way we are never separated from each other. In that way we all are connected.

    Thank you Divine Grace for having me say my sayings.

    Peace, joy and wisdom.

    • Thank you Melvin for sharing your story ;-) It’s an eye opening and and an amazing story. It seems like you have finally found some peace. I also see those numbers you mention, the 9:11 started a few years ago but I never gave it much attention until I kept meeting people with the birthday 9/11 … After, that I started seeing it on clocks everywhere. I also see 12:09 alot… 9:11 and 1209 are numbers that I am still not sure I understand completely… However, they don’t bother me as much anymore. All these number combinations have become apart of my life and I just acknowledge them when I see them….

      Thanks again for sharing your story Melvin… I really enjoy reading it and I know it will benefit others as well.

      • Thank you Divine for your loving response. Having clarity or being clear on things is such a blessing.

        As for the numbers, please find a quick breakdown below. Maybe it suits your situation.

        Angel Number 1209 may also be indicating that if you feel inclined to pursue a spiritually-based practice, career and/or profession, now is a most auspicious time to do so. It is time to accept and develop your spiritual gifts and use them to benefit yourself and others in a Lightworking capacity. You are here for a reason – allow your Light to shine.

        The repeating number 911 suggests that your goals are almost complete, and/or that you are coming to the end of a phase or cycle in your life. It is an indication that one door is closing and another is opening. The message is to allow the ‘old’ to be released so it is able to be replaced with the ‘new’.

        On a lighter note: Jerry Maguire is being aired on tv in my part of the world as we speak. I just heard Jerry (Tom Cruise) say: ‘I’m not a guy who runs, I stick.’
        So apparently, he is not a runner ;-)

      • Thanks for sharing Melvin. I appreciate you taking to the time out to share the meaning of those numbers with me :-)

        You are funny too :-) You have a great energy and a peaceful soul.

        Hugs ;-)

  22. My friend has helped me alot. He was the chaser as well and dealt with his TF being in a new relationship. He has healed and continues to strive for the better which gives me alot of hope and encouragement that I can do the same. It seems my TF is also starting to work on himself and it even looks like he’s getting back to his passion for music. I pray for him every night and wish him well on his journey as I continue on to my own. Last night I couldn’t sleep and I felt this warm presence take over my whole body I felt warm and tingly. I knew it was my TF I told him I loved him and I fell sound asleep :-) I know he’s still always with me spiritually I just need to learn to accept it

  23. I believe I have met my TF I met him last year. I won’t go into a lot of detail about what he does and who he is because I am scared as I am married already to someone else who I don’t get on with at all. We are almost splitting up as we are of different religions and it is clashing. He seems to hate me.

    However my TF and I have met a lot over the year we have never been together sexually, but as soon as I saw him I felt like I had been hit by a truck. He seemed to gaze at me like he recognised me from the very first day he saw me and in a room full of people it was me he spoke to first and the feeling I got after looking into his eyes was overwhelming, we had lots in common and he agreed with every opinion and thoughts that I had!. He is very attractive to look at and very intelligent but other women don’t see what I see when i look at him however I have a friend who has seen the impact he has had on me and also feels upset for me and also really really likes this guy. He is my age exactly..He has left the country and is a traveler who doesn’t like being in the same place all the time and is planning to go very far away soon. I call him Doctor Who as a joke :)I see his name everywhere and his name is not rare, but not that common either, its not a name I used to see everywhere, at all, before we met. He has never once asked me out I felt he was going to, but he kept holding back, and I think I know why, its because he travels and is never in one place long enough to have a relationship. I googled his home town and looked at it on the map online and as I did, I felt this strange feeling of comfort and peace surround me.It was weird, really odd, and I always feel that peace now when i look at his home town and i really like the feeling. I knew his middle name before he told me and that also freaked me out. People have pointed out how much our faces possess similar features we have the same eyes same colour, shape, etc. He is so different when around me his face lights up but he gets really shy/withdrawn and was last time I saw him before he left he had also put weight on a lot, and I have lost a lot over the past weeks. My name is not Laura, Laura is my alias because I don’t want my husband to find me. His family have very similar names to members of mine also. He has been gone a week, and i am already feeling very drained, tired and ill, and I am normally so healthy. My skin is suffering and I feel like I am aging/had aged overnight and HE too looked older last time I saw him, gray hairs and stressed and I felt worried for him. I wonder what is going on, he must be my TF?? surely….??

    • Laura, be careful what you do… Either your marriage is over or it’s not… If you are still in a marriage and a committed relationship with someone then be in that relationship or leave if it is not healthy for you. You don’t want to create bad karma or more problems for yourself by sneaking around. I believe a twinsoul relationship is base on love… Unconditional love. It should be open and honest… If you are sneaking around now it spells red flag. When you have truly meant your twin you will know and there will be no need for confirmation. It feels like God and destiny as played a huge part in bringing you together. It’s a very holy and sacred union.

  24. No, nobody is sneaking around, sorry if I wasn’t clear, my TF and I are just friends. I am getting out of the relationship with my husband as I don’t love him anymore as he is very very abusive. Sorry again for the misunderstanding. Peace.

  25. You know I have been surfing for the internet for about a year and a half. I also have been reading everyone stories as well. Just to give a little experience. I know for a fact I meet my twin flame in April 2013, while cleaning in my house, they gotten the number from there angel come to find out later….long story we both have psychic Abilities… I always knew of them but not what they look like as a child. Now I am grown. I stay in Georgia and they stayed in Pennsylvania at the time. I never told no body this but I sorta know the reason we incarnated. I was the most excited I had been all my life up until that point. They were religions and traditional and I am free spirited and open. Make a long story short. I really didn’t care about anything else but being with them. I was the chaser and they were the runner. I wrote this post to possible help someone else. The hurt and humiliation that the runner cause is beyond explaining. I didn’t know what hit me or what to do next. I have been through alot in life but the running i had to experience was the most hurtful thing I ever experienced. I have not spoke to them sense but once through Facebook where I apologize and informed them I love them unconditional but then deleted my Facebook account soon as I sent. I do know there is a reconnection scheduled but I have been feeling different then everyone else for some reason. I have grown spiritual since then. My feelings were wven if you were scared how could you leave me stranded with no communication. I would have loved a postcard once a year or something. Anyway, I hope and pray anyone who meet there twin flame are able to find some kind of way to make the first meet work and flourish with happiness and success then maybe just maybe they can help others as well. I guess I always thought my twin flame would help me live a fairy tale life. Best wishes to all of you. Do run just chase each other toward love.

    • Thanks for sharing your story Jessica. Best Wishes to you as well :-)

  26. I have been reading all of your stories and wanted to share mine. I randomly went to a party when I was 18 and he was the boy turning 18. This was 15 years ago. Over the years we met at parties and when we were 21 he came to my 21st birthday. We had a moment of holding hands which was strange but it was unspoken. We then went our separate ways and didn’t get together as a couple until 6 years later. A year later we split up. He is the runner I thought and I was the chaser. I was devastated. About a year later he announced he was getting engaged. I was crushed. I then met a man and we began a relationship. After 3 weeks of his engagement he rang me and said he wanted me back and wanted to break up with her. At that point I was happy and said ‘make your relationship work you have chosen to be with her.’ He then continued to be in touch a little but got married that year. The following year I got married. On the day of my wedding I heard that he was getting a divorce. I got married and he got divorced. We continued to keep in touch twice a year with a text. A year later 2011 my husband suddenly died. My TF tried many times to contact me but I was too upset. After 10 months I sent my TF a text and I knew he would reply. He did and we began getting to know each other again. The thing is now he gets close to me and then runs. We are not in a relationship and haven’t seen each other for months. He will tell me how he feels and then if I reciprocate he likes it for a while, if I don’t he is happy him telling me how he feels at times and at other times gets embarrassed that I do not reciprocate. Each time I tell him how i feel, there is no consistency. He takes it on board and then runs for weeks and then comes back. If I try to contact him he leaves it a few days or weeks sometimes then comes back to me with ‘ sorry … and proceeds to explain what has happened in those weeks whilst he’s been absent. ‘ This connection is so difficult to handle, I am also wondering why these things have happened to us to bring us together when in fact we are still not reunited and this is still going on this running? I generally don’t chase him, but at some point its nice to know when you do try and contact your TF that he will respond within a certain time frame just like a friend does. I know he is working on himself, as am I – 15 years is a long time… Any advise?

  27. Omg so true! I’m loving this website

    • I am glad you are loving it :-)

  28. I am glad I stumbled on this site while searching for healing for twin flames.Prior to meeting this man, I had never heard of twin flames and now the idea is everywhere I look. My ego still finds it hard to believe in this twin flame “concept” and tells me he is just a cold hearted jerk, yet I love him deep in my belly. I am working on myself spiritually to clear my own negative energies and have been told that when one twin begins to heal, the other, mirrored twin heals by default. Is this possible if the other twin has no knowledge of the twin flame process?

    I am led to believe he is my twin because I was the runner when we first met and things have changed into an emotional freefall. We were in a very noisy place and our eyes met and the silence became deafening. We could barely speak because I was working and despite being in a relationship, I gave him my number when he asked. He then proceeded to constantly contact me and made plans to meet. I got so scared that I stood him up and never contacted him, even blocked his number to avoid having to explain myself.

    Fast forward several months, I had been trying to summon the courage to leave the man i was with, knowing it would break this man’s heart. But I KNEW I had to break it off. Then BAM! I saw HIM again and my heart skipped. I saw him once weekly for 3 weeks before I felt the need to grab his attention and apologize for my actions. He gave me his new number and we started to communicate. We made a date and spent 9 hours talking. The next day, I broke up with the boyfriend.

    Within a week, the hot and cold started, the passion was something I have never felt in 38 years and the emotions were flooding us both. He wound up leaving for nearly 3 weeks during which time he went from missing me and wanting to be with me, even suggesting living together IF he came back. (we are both transplants in the same state but from opposite sides of the country originally). The words were magic and I felt them in my soul.

    Then he came back and didn’t tell me until the next day. He had turned cold, refusing to see me, refusing to talk on the phone, throwing assumptions at me. I became tired of this and told him during one of his “you don’t need me, I am bothering you” phases, that I was no longer interested in the hot/cold relationship and asked him to stay away. He begged to remain friends and then mentioned “friends with benefits” (which I not so politely declined). He apologized and said he just wanted me to be a part of his life as at least a friend. I agreed to that and 3 days later, it was him telling me he couldn’t handle it.

    Since this exchange, he has initiated contact with me every 1-2 weeks using very vague texts. We did see each other once, mutually agreed upon, and had every intention of talking through the drama. Yet once we hugged, it was all over. No anger. No uncertainty. We wound up spending the night together and then he went back to what he was before that night.

    Because he had said he couldn’t be my friend, I have not initiated any contact with him out of respect for his wishes and out of protecting myself from looking like a psycho b*tch.

    I hear the words, “He is coming back” in the middle of the night. And when I pray, I send him nothing but love and protection. Will this help him overcome this fear stage? Will me working on myself and sending him positive energy help him through?

    • Thanks for sharing Gemini… I think even if the other does not know about Twinflames/Twinsoul/ Soulmates. There is a inner knowing and knowledge within each person that tells them something amazing and profound is happening or have just happened. Even if they cannot understand fully what has happened or is happening. However they choose to go about finding their way that’s their decision and their free will.

      In my experience, and I can only speak from my experience. My twin and I were synchonized before I even knew him in reality. When we talked and shared our past and life experiences it was uncanningly similar.

      We were also equals in every sense. In a most relationships I found myself whether friendship, family or romantic. I felt I always had to be the strong one. I was their backbone and the one that kept things running smooth. They depended on me and constantly needed me to help them. I felt if I was to leave them everything would fall apart. But, with him I felt I was looking at myself in the male form.

      He knew as much as I did about most things. It’s like we were growing at the same rate and learning the same things. But, saw it from different perspectives. When, I learned something knew he did too…. The difference was in how we viewed it and how we responded to it. Like Yin and Yang ;-)

      If you and your twin are synchronized… If you start focusing on the betterment of yourself. He will probably start doing that as well in his own way. It’s really about loving you and accepting you not the twin. The love between you and the twin was always there and will always be there it doesn’t need working on. What needs working on is the individuals within the union. Each individual needs to love and accept themselves fully… So they can see and accept the love that’s given to them.

      That’s why it’s important to use this time apart to work on loving and accepting ourselves in all our perfections and what see as imperfections as well.

      • It’s great to hear all of your stories.I never really heard of the term t.f until I met a girl last dec and from our first date I felt something that I never felt b4 or that was possible.was only after 5 months when a lot came to up in me and I got very unstable and we broke up cos it was hurting me to much felling that I wasn’t getting what a though I should have from the relationship.for the first time in my life I had I had a million questions and I needed a million answers,so I started looking around online cos I knew all of my deamons had come out a lot of cepressed emotions and I tough it was her that was making me feel this so I pushed her away so much that she despises me and I’m pretty sure she will never talk to me again.anyway after the breakup I bumped into twin flames and it all made sence,I mean Evan if she is not my twin this is the deapest pain and biggest love I have ever felt.after 6 months can’t get her out of my mind,had a spiritual awakening and def a dark night of the soul.def not an easy journey.

      • Eternal, I can relate so much to your story. It was around the 5 month that my Twinflame runner started really pushing me away…. At the time I did not know what was going on…. His behavior just seemed odd and very strange. We would also blame each other for a lot of things that went wrong… After I took a step back and replayed all the arguments in my head I realized we were doing the same things to each other and blaming each other for the same things. Around 8 months I tried to make peace with him because I missed him so much even though I felt wronged by him. But, I wanted to escape the pain… I thought if I played nice and try to forget the arguments and let bygones be bygones everything would be fine again. But, regardless of what I said I believe he saw right through me sensed I was still hurt and upset with him. I felt his hurt and pain in that moment as well. I also felt he still love me but was disappointed in himself. From that moment we became outright cruel to each other… But, throughout all the drama and arguments I still felt the love :-) Stranger things have happened…

        Anyways, best wishes. I think she still loves you and you should try and reach out to her…

  29. Hi Divine Grace,

    Thank you for your articles, I have found an incredible amount of information on this website. I really appreciate you taking the time sharing what you know, so thank you for that. :)

    I do think that a lot of people who have stumbled across your site are looking for answers, understanding or sometimes maybe reassurance. Based on my understanding however, it is very rare to have found your twin flame in this current incarnation at this time, and most of the connections we share are with soulmates, and we may never meet our twin flames in this physical lifetime. The other half of the twin may simply choose to stay in the spiritual realm and assist us with the ascension process from behind the scene. Most likely the physical meeting does not occur until we are ready to meet them, and vice versa, and certainly not until we are whole and complete within our own selves first.

    This does not invalidate the principal of learning unconditional love and learning to give and receive it freely (with ourselves, with that someone special and with the rest of the humanity)

    And I think learning unattachement from outcomes is the most important lesson yet. Therefore to concentrate on finding your twin flame, or soulmate is a sign that we do not feel whole and complete from within, therefore the people we attract tend to mirror and reinforce that lack back to us until we fully learn the lesson.

    I definitely do not wish to come across as a know-it-all, as I have also ‘suffered’, felt pained but thankfully grown from my fair share of soulmate connections (and one in particular). Ultimately it is always about self love, treating ourselves with respect and doing what we know to be the right thing for ourselves in every single moment. It is easy to be disillusioned by the ego that we need to lift the other person, wait patiently for them, or even sacrifice ourselves in order to achieve a perfect and divine union. That is never the intent.

    As I have pointed out in the beginning that I really enjoyed you sharing your stories, and imparting insight to help many to navigate their way through this mist of confusion. What I say may not resonate with everyone, but I would like to express what I have found to be true at least from my personal experiences – always everything comes back to the self. And once we have learnt to let go, to trust and to have found what we always yearned for within ourselves, we find peace, freedom and happiness. Nothing else is that important anymore. :)


    • Thanks for sharing Jacinta… Your insights are appreciated. However, we must not forget the twin soul is a form of soulmate relationship. That’s why it’s called twin soul… It’s about a soul connection. There are different levels of soul mate connections but they all serves a purpose and they are all valid. I think some people have never been in any kind of soulmate relationship before so it’s hard for them to tell the difference between a soul level relationship and a regular relationship that doesn’t have that deep connection.

  30. Dedicated to me by my runner…haven’t heard from him since June, I miss him so much, but it’s just like The Breeze to come and go, love him eternally, I’ll be here when he decides to blow through again.

    • Thanks for sharing Jenzflo :-)

  31. I met my TF back in March and although we knew each other for over 30 years we only connected now as she was married and so was I. My marriage ended nearly 5 years ago and hers is just ending now. Our coming together was unlike anything I’ve ever known. All the typical TF signs. Uncanny familiarity, amazing sexual unions, total bliss in all ways! And then…….. Last month she ran! Needles to say I’ve been devastated. She has all the typical “runner” symptoms. Confused, actually moved away (saying she has to get away from everything) and we have barely been in touch since she left. I am beyond crushed and everyday without her is painful. Recently she came back to the area and stayed with my cousin (her BF since school) and asked her if I was coming to see her? When she told her I wasn’t she became irritated and texted me why I wouldn’t come and see her? We talked briefly and she sounded irritated as to why I didn’t come and see her. Truth is it’s to painful to watch her walk away from me again. I recently had a Channeling session and confirmed in fact that we are truly TF although I already knew it in my heart. I was told she will come back after she reclaims what her ex has damaged in her. She has been so hurt by him for so many years and she is going through a very rough divorce. My Love for her is so intense and our separation is so difficult for me but I have to stay strong in faith that we will be together again. Just wanted to share my story.

    Thank you,

    Love and Light Blessings

    • Thanks for sharing Jim, and much love and light to you :-)

  32. Hi, i met my runner seven years ago, at that time i was involved with somebody else and didnt really know much about her but about 4 or 5 years ago i knew and sensed there was a connection which was very deep and mutual, at that time my relationship had forward 3 years ago we wet on our first date after so many stares and flirty remarks.the connection got deeper from our first date but then the running began ,its been on and off ever since.anyway i moved to a different country not by choice but because of a job situation the truth now is i know there is still a connection and she has stopped communication for close to a year now.the truth is i know she’s interested and anytime i tried bringing it up in the past she quickly retreats.i sense 2 things she’s prob had bad relationships though she told me she dated a guy when i was still with mt ex but she kinda told me he wasnt commiting and all that. the second thing i sensed is that she prob grew up in a home with not enough love, i notice she does close off quickly and its a sign of trying to put a lid on your emotions.what do you make of my situation

    • Steve, I believe most twin flame are separated to propel each twin to take a deeper look at themselves and their life. Are you happy with yourself and how your life is going? The best way to get your twin back to you is to regain your balance and learn to fall inlove with yourself all over again.

      That love you feel for your twin or you believe she is giving you is actually in you and waiting for you to harvest it or discover it.

      Once you are inlove with yourself again, you will realize that everyone starts to fall inlove with you as well… People are attracted to you because they are attracted to the light they see in you. They want that light as well because that light is LOVE…

      Also, the more you are inlove with you will notice your desire for your twin lessen tremendously and the separation pain and confusion automatically goes away. I hope you find the balance again… Hugs

  33. Hello!
    I just read this article and I feel like I can understand my runner. Although I don’t know who is running, anymore, I believe in a way both run!
    Before I met him I was a control freak and I just realized that the reason I was chasing him was to “take back” my control! I stopped chasing him almost a month ago( while first cut any connection could informe me about him) when I thought I could recreate my past self- identity (maybe ego), but yesterday I realized the illusion. All my past self is not existing and not going to come back, that is the truth, I need some time to digest that, though.
    In addition a couple of weeks now I don’t feel our connection anymore, either, It feels like he is gone.. (weird)
    Anyway, all I know is that I need to work with my self. or the different version of self, which seems really difficult now. I just wanted to notice that is not competely clear who is running away.
    Thank you for the articles!

    • L :-) I think when you start regaining yourself and your balance those bad feelings goes away… It’s not that you are losing the twin. It’s because you are gaining yourself back. You need to be your complete and full self to get the twin back to you… So, it’s not a bad thing you don’t feel him as much… Now it’s time to focus on you and the reunion will happen when you are good and ready…

  34. Hi all! This is a very lovely subject one which I did not know existed until a few months ago when I finally met her. My beloved, my mirror, my only one. I knew before she did who she was and who I was to her…and eventually she realized it too. I truly had no idea what love was until I met her. I cannot lie to her I cannot judge her I cannot hide anything from her I cannot own her. And yet, I am in a dark place now where all my self rejection is coming out, all my possessiveness is leaking out, all my impatience is flourishing and my total frustration with our circumstance. We are both married to others and we both agreed to not abandon our current relationships and I ask God why? Why do I suddenly find the love of my life and I am barred from being with her when all I want is to wake up everyday next to her and share these last days on Earth together? The shock is so deep, the emotions boiling over that I indeed feel like I am losing my mind to the point that I have tried to get away from her in an attempt to resolve my own personal doubts, my own personal ego. And yet I recognize how ridiculous it is to want to remove myself from her life when all I want is to be with her in whatever limited capacity. No matter how much it hurts , no matter how horrible things get. I’d rather endure all the pain, all the sadness just to see her one more time. This is just my biased and inexperienced opinion on the subject but, how can anyone purposefully abandon their eternal love? Because there is no “moving on” there is no “alternative” there is only that one being that is more precious than any other in the ENTIRE UNIVERSE. There is indeed a part of me that wants to run away from this craziness and I feel it everyday, it is my choice. And I choose the narrow path.

    • Thanks for sharing Dave :-) … All that confusing will lead you to find yourself eventually and also lead you back to her… Right now you just need to accept the pain and confusion as apart of the process to gaining yourself. You have to lose yourself to find yourself… The pain is alerting you that something is wrong with you and needs your attention…

      Take a moment to watch what happens with your body when the pain and negative thoughts to show themselves… Acknowledge them and let them go… What you resist or try to run away from persist. Once it realize you have made a conscious effort to be present and deal with these uncomfortable emotions they have no choice but to heal because they are no longer hidden.

      Then start the process to regain your balance and falling inlove with yourself as much as you are inlove with her… Love will attract Love

      • Thank you for speaking that truth to power…you are absolutely right.

  35. I really need and want to forget my twinflame, I know he is the runner now, but has been 3 years and everything reminds me of him, my house, my neighborhood, my highschool is near here and the place where he is working is near too and I see all of this everyday, the songs that are played in stores and in the streets of my city, I deleted for my computer but they are everywhere, and I even sold my clothes of that time especially what I used to wear in our dates. I need to forget him! I´ve been with other men but never loves anyone like him, I spent 2 years single because I didn’t felt anything for anybody and now I’m not happy in my relationships all the men seem boring to me.

    • Camila, you are trying to forget your twin because you don’t want to face yourself or the present issues in your life. Once you start working on yourself and making a conscious effort to love and accept yourself unconditionally… You will realize situations and things that remind you of your twin doesn’t affect you as much because you are now inlove with yourself. Therefore, you don’t see your twin as a savior that don’t want to save you and his responsible for your pain.

      You have to do your eon healing and he has to do his in his own way… Start the process of falling in love with yourself…

      Call it Mission Falling Inlove With Self :-)

  36. I don’t understand… I’m very introverted so I don’t need to “find myself”. I have had a lifetime of alone time so I don’t need anymore. I know who I am and I have used my creative gifts. And why can’t we do that with our twin anyway? Two minds are wiser than one… Team work is always much more effective.

    She brought up the twin concept but now she denies being my twin… Even though she’s identical to me. She’s angry that I have hurt/betrayed her. But she’s hurt me equally. She won’t admit that part and wants to think that she’s better than me.

    I forgave her… All bitterness has even left me… I don’t care for the past arguments, I just want to enjoy her presence. I’m irresistibly attracted to her. Why doesn’t she mirror that feeling and come back to me?

    I know that I’m not crazy for caring for someone who rejected me. I’m 100% sure that we are twin souls. My love for her is infinite and I have felt her infinite love. I have made a huge list and we are identical in absolutely everything except sometimes movie taste. But I attribute this to gender difference. Be it personal qualities or flaws, needs, interests, dreams, sexual fantasies, political opinions… Everything is the same.

    Even if she’s angry, how can she just pretend that I don’t exist anymore?

    • Also, I don’t care about this but we are very similar physically. We have the same age, hair colour, skin tone, sleeping schedule, mental health issues, fitness level, nearsightedness, attractiveness and sensitivity to light. And similar eye colour.

  37. I am wondering: It seems that the “chaser” undergoes (potentially) a LOT of *pain*.

    It doesn’t seem fair (though wishing for fairness here is silly), that the runner, by comparison, seems to “have it easy/made”.

    I DEEPLY love and revere my runner, but after all these years I am starting to get bitter with Her, for putting me through so much trash.

    To give me some compassion for Her, what kinds of discomfort do “Runners” experience?

    I’ve had my external life turned upside-down to win her back (foolish as it may be), but I imagine she’s gone through MUCH more mental pain.

    Is this true?


    PS: I feel confident that it is, but for my emotional health, to know that she misses me too, at least a little, *might* give me some more strength to get through the days.

    • I have driven myself crazy with the same question. My TF ran away from me back in September and we have had very little contact since. I refuse to call her even though I struggle everyday without her. The pain I feel I wouldn’t wish on anyone. When she does contact me, which is rarely she never seems to miss me the way I do her yet she acts as if nothing ever happened between us. It makes me crazy and resent her terribly which I don’t want to do. I toss and turn at night wondering how this came to be when everything seemed so perfect at one time. Our time together was truly heaven on earth and she told me she was never so happy ever in her life yet one day in September she packed up and left and moved away!! So here I am feeling like the Love of my life was taken from me in a tragic accident or something because it was so sudden and abrupt. So I know your pain and every day I wake up wondering what this whole thing means. I wish I had advice to give but I’m as hurt and confused as you sound. I don’t know if I’ll ever be the same from this experience but I try to move forward a little each day feeling so empty and lost. It hardly seems fair to have been given a taste of divine love only to have it taken away. Makes no sense.

    • You shouldn’t wish discomfort to your Runner. Think about it: you shouldn’t expect to get her back as long as you are in a revengeful state of mind. According to this website, you are supposed to work on yourself, and leave trauma and negative feelings behind.

      If you want to know about my twinflame… She feels more depressed than ever and suicidal. But she won’t admit that it’s because we are separated: she’s very angry at me. So the pain that she inflicts to you, she inflicts it to herself. A twin flame is like a mirror.

  38. Hi, it is very funny when your twin flame runs from you.i have known her for a few years and the connection is intense and real ,she started to get my attention by getting close as I was shy and subsequently I made the move, we hung out and go on dates and they are absolutely wonderful, the only problem is she runs when it feels like we getting shes stopped communication for about a year and even though I tried reaching out couple of months ago she didn’t respond and so because I have my dignity and self love intact I stopped communicating as well, even though she’s still in my heart.the truth is now she’s just started a relationship and she’s been trying to let the whole world know about it.this guy is in her circle of friends , a friend of her friend’s boyfriend.the part I can’t comprehend is that whilst she was interested in me this guy was around and I know for a fact she didn’t feel anything for him and even now I’m pretty sure she doesn’t feel a deep connection as she feels for me.i’m not sad in any way I just find it hard that people would walk away from something so profound and wonderful to go to something where u’ve basically forced yourself am not saying there are no feelings between them , I just know that feeling between them is no where the feelings, bond and connection she has with me.i would love to find out
    1. Why she’s acting this way
    2. Is this a blessing in disguise for me from GOD/higher power
    3. I am facing my growth, I don’t pan after her as much in the past
    4. Is this relationship a way for her to avoid her fears
    5. Do u think am still in her heart in some ways and how?
    6. If she finds out am seeing someone will she be happy for me?
    7. Would she regret
    8. Do u think she’s done this deliberately?

    • The second phase of a twinflame relationship is the most perfect relationship on Earth, not just wonderful dates. Did you ever experience extreme closeness with her or did she run each time?

      • There were extreme closenesss, it wasn’t just dates and u laugh, hanging out was real and honest,it was genuine,u could see,feel and sense the genuine desire of wanting more,but each time I try to move it forward she panics hence she runs.i also sense the bond is very deep,u know when its just there ,u know if its deep but u also know when the connection is way deep and intense.
        What do you mean by the second phase of a twinflame relationship is the most perfect relationship on Earth?

  39. Hi, my tf runs from me all the time. All these stories are so similar to mine! and still i doubt myself.. He recently told me that for some reason he gets irritated by me even just sending him a whatsapp message saying ‘hi’. He told me he doesnt understand the feeling, but he always feels like getting in contact with me again after a while. Last time i saw him, he was angry about something again and he was being rude to me. He has hurt me too often. My question is, even though i think about him a lot, i don’t miss him anymore, it feels like i’m done with him. i’m tired of this bond leading nowhere. This is the first time in 2.5 years i feel this way. Are my feelings really gone? or is my mind playing me? I also have very little telepathic experiences with him from the beginnig. is this normal? Could this be because of his dinking? He drinks alot lately.

  40. Hi I need help, I feel so confused at the moment…I don’t know whether I really did meet my twin…was he just a soul mate or even now I’m feeling was he just some kind of narcissist. How do you know for real? I will tell you my story..It may be long but I’m so desperate to get someone else’s opinion at this stage I feel like I have to explain everything. I am 29 and he is 33. Before I met him I did feel different, I can’t explain it but I just had this feeling of inner knowing that something was about to happen. I wasn’t quite that spiritual at the time, I liked to believe that such soul connections could exist and now I know they do I wonder did he ever feel the same? We worked together briefly for a few weeks. When I saw him first at work I remember making eye contact with him for the first time. This moment stood out as I remember as I looked into those eyes something inside me was triggered. I had to look away quickly as I was embarrassed by this feeling. I wondered whether I knew this person before, he looked friendly and familiar. We maybe only had one or two brief conversations at work but after each I felt intrigued and wondered as to who this person was. I just brushed it off as nothing as he was layed off work and I didn’t see him until 3 months later at a work party which he showed up to. We spent the whole night talking and we had so much in common. His eyes were fixated on me for the whole night but still I didn’t think anything of it..I did give him my number after he asked at the end of the night and he rang a week later. Talking to him for the first time on the phone his voice seemed so familiar. We arranged to go on a date the following week. I actually considered cancelling at the last minute because I felt so scared but after deciding to go I didn’t know what I had been scared of. We could talk for hours, I felt so comfortable around him. The first kiss was amazing. I was going to Thailand for two months but we dated for just over a month beforehand…we found out we had so much synchronicities in our life, our conversations were deep and meaningful. I felt like I could talk to him about anything and he was deep and caring and loving. He was able to open up and talk to me about really personal stuff that he said he never told anyone about before. He directed conversations towards family and children and was honest and focused on what his intentions were. Holding his hand felt electric, being close to him felt like home. There was such chemistry behind our kissing. We were never sexually intimate before I left for Thailand but we stayed in contact the whole time I was away, he asked me to be his girlfriend and said he had fallen for me in a huge way. I couldn’t believe that he actually felt the same way. It actually scared me and I felt a bit nervous coming back to see him, thinking what if I had imagined the spark, what if it had gone? But I felt just the same when I saw him again. We both lived at home with our parents so spending time together intimately was hard but we went on lots of weekends away together and remained going on cinema dates and for dinners. I remember googling articles about soul mates and twin flames at the time as I couldn’t understand how I felt so strongly for someone after such a short period of time. The first time he told me he loved me I froze and I couldn’t say it back…I was scared. The way he said it was strange, he was so nervous. The song money can’t buy me love came on and he said he felt like he had already won the lotto, that he felt like we were on the same wavelength and that he loved me so much but didn’t want to hurt me again. I didn’t understand why he said ‘again’. I actually didn’t take much notice at the time as I my heart was pounding so fast and I was so happy. But it is only now after the break up I remember it. He told me there was no need to worry, he loved me so much and he would never hurt me. He was quite spiritual and read many spiritual books and I loved his outlook on life. I used to have a fear that maybe I wasn’t as spiritually developed as him but after the break up now I feel that I am the one who is more developed or somethimes I just don’t know anymore because I’m so confused. Anyway, over the four months he told me he felt like he had dreamed about me, that he felt like we were soul mates and that he knew he could never feel this way about anyone else. He used to say he felt so safe around me. I felt the exact same and I wasn’t scared anymore. He also said that no matter what happened in the future that he was so happy he had met me. We used to stay in eachothers arms for hours just hugging, not feeling the pressure to talk. It felt wonderful. I wasn’t scared anymore. I knew I had fallen in love on such a deep level. However after four months things changed. I didn’t like the fact he smoked a bit of weed and used to get a bit agitated towards him about it, told him he didn’t need it but he used to get very defensive about it and accuse me of trying to mould him into the perfect boyfriend or change him. That maybe he wasn’t right for me. After a minor family drama I had at home he was different towards me and said he needed some space. This is when things started getting very confusing. We had a break for a week in which I gave him time and space. When we met again he seemed down and depressed, saying things like he couldn’t see the light anymore, he felt down and hopeless. We got over that through communicating and realising our love and things were great again for a while but he seemed to drift in and out of being loving and caring to depressed and down and feeling worthless and questioning my intentions. He became cautious of me and in a sense closed himself up a bit. This scared me so much because all I wanted him to do was trust in my heart and soul and leave me in. Because of him distancing himself from me I lost confidence in myself and felt scared. I didn’t know what to do or how to help and as a result I probably began to act possessive and needy in the fear of loosing him. The more I tried to convince him I loved him the more he pulled away. We had planned to go to Canada together and he was out of work again and feeling a bit useless and down in himself I suppose. We were waiting on the work permit which didn’t seem to be happening anytime soon. Then the fighting began, we began to blame eachother for things going wrong. I feel like we both lost ourselves and tried to fit the relationship into what we thought it should look like. He said he’d never been in a relationship that so much fighting went on, he said that the first year should be magical and I was just so upset because I knew it could still be magical if only he would drop his ego image of what it should look like. So I began to blame him but after some space and another little break I began to think it was me. That maybe I became a bit controlling and tried to force him to show me love. I could see that my fear was strong and I tried to stay present in moments he might be down and doubtful but I think when my love was so strong, my fears became greater and it was so hard. I think maybe both of us were to blame. Even throughout this bad period we still had genuine loving moments in which I still saw the depth of his soul shining through. What kept me strong was the inner knowing that I knew him deep down and this person who had become such a stranger was going through a bad patch of getting trapped in his ego and he would snap out of it anytime soon. I thought because he was spiritual that he knew that it was so unnecessary to be holding on to fear and worries and that love could never work if he was being cautious of me. However I felt like I was talking to someone who didn’t care. I just longed to get back to the way things were at the beginning. After a lovely weekend away after a year in the relationship he rang me and said we needed to talk that he felt like we could have something special and he needed to see if we could get past this. We met up but after the conversation on the phone I was so scared so instead of telling him how confident I felt about believing things could work I cried and blamed him for stuff. I told him I loved him so much. Instead he told me that we needed a break, he didn’t feel as strongly. That all he kept doing was hurting me and he couldn’t see me upset anymore. I was in shock. He just left. The next day I rang him and we had a huge fight on the phone in which it ended in me saying I never wanted to speak to him again. I felt so much love and so much hatred at the same time. He blocked me out for a month and our first conversation on the phone he was still a bit angry and blaming me. He said if we fought like that now what would we be like in the future. If I couldn’t handle my emotions now what would I be like if something went wrong in the future. I told him that everything would be alright if he just got rid of that fear he had of things going wrong, that nothing would go wrong if he just believed in us and stayed positive. I had so much I wanted to say to him but it all came out wrong. But he said we would just be better off as friends for now. The next phone conversation I was in acceptance of the break up, told him I could see that we both needed to grow more as people and find ourselves more. We both agreed that as friends with no expectations we would be able to get to know each other better. He told me maybe we would find each other again. I told him I never wanted to loose myself in a relationship again due to fear and the next relationship I would have would be an enlightened one. He said maybe that might be us. We were so much more respectful towards eachother and I thought this was a great thing to be able to move forward towards an enlightened relationship. I had so much hope we would get back together. The first time we met up as friends we got on great but I did find it hard as I just wanted to give him a big hug and a kiss. He booked a two month holiday to Canada and a few days before he was meant to go he phoned me saying he got a job offer over there. I was so happy for him but so upset that I might not see him again. We met up before he went and I didn’t care if I would loose him as a friend, I spilled my heart out and told him how I felt. He said things were happening so fast he couldn’t promise anything. I told him I loved him but I didn’t need or expect anything from him, I just loved him. He told me he knew how he felt now and he loved me too. We kissed and cuddled and said an emotional goodbye. I said if you really love someone guess you just have to let them go. We just left it at that and said we would meet up if he came home and stay in touch while he was over there. Two days later I got the work permit that we had applied for months beforehand and given up on. I looked at it as a sign from the universe that I was meant to be over there with him. I was so happy and when I told him he sounded so happy too. I only heard from him once by text message while he was over there saying it was beautiful, words could not describe and I would love it over there. I rang him once over there and he seemed strange and distant. He came home after 7 weeks as he had to apply for his work permit for Canada here. We met up and gave eachother a big hug and caught up on news. The second time we met up I told him how I still felt but this time he was a bit distant and said he didn’t know if his feelings were on the same level, that he needed to have a big talk with himself and do a bit of soul searching and that if we were to give things another go we would have to take things slowly that he cared too much about me to hurt me again and that he didn’t want the same thing to happen as before. I felt hopeful but the next time on the phone when I thought we were getting somewhere we went backwards again as he started bringing up old memories and questioning why I did this and that. I felt upset again and now I don’t know whether he said all this on purpose to get a reaction to give him an excuse not to give things another go but said we would talk about it soon. The next time we met up we had a nice day but neither of us brought up the conversation, I felt like I was waiting for him to say something but I thought we would leave the talk for another day as I didn’t want to seem like I was putting pressure on him. However the next time on the phone he told me a Canadian friend, a woman who had been his tour guide in Canada was coming over to visit and she wanted to meet up with him. I got all angry and upset and asked him what about our talk. He said he felt like he just didn’t have it in him anymore, his feelings had fizzled out and he thought maybe there was someone else out there for me. I felt so heartbroken. For the last six weeks he has been on a constant holiday with this woman. She is paying for him to stay in fancy hotels and holiday homes as he is broke. He says they are just friends until one conversation where I just asked him is he in a new relationship and he was all awkward and said she has feelings for him too but it won’t work because of the distance. But after looking at her profile on facebook looks like she is moving to the same area as his potential job is in Canada. Our last phone call was two days ago and he was like a complete stranger. He told me we tried 3 times and it just wasn’t meant to be. That life changed in a different direction for him after Canada and he has to roll with it. I told him he has free will to make his own choices. He said I can still go over with him as a friend but he is insistent on putting me in this bracket. He said we wouldn’t work out as a couple. He said that if we gave things another go there would be too much pressure on me as we are on different levels of feeling. He said it just isn’t in him anymore. He said that I am a beautiful person and I have a bright future. It is so hurtful to hear the man you believed all along to be your soul mate or twin flame to say that to me now. I love him so so much and for the past 7 months since the break up I have loved him unconditionally. Sometimes I wish I didn’t put so much pressure on him to give us another go since he returned home but I didn’t know how much time we had before he would go back over to Canada again and I got scared. I’ve totally lost myself in that past six weeks since that woman has appeared on the scene telling him how much I love him and how we will never know what we could have had if we don’t try. That all he needed to do was forgive me and him for the past and to just trust in my heart and soul and have faith in love. I find myself completely desperate. He was so cold and cruel to me on the phone and this conversation sounded final as if he wanted me to leave his life for good and that he was just wishing me well in the future. He sounded like a complete stranger and this pain is excruciating. I feel like I have lost a part of me. Right now I wonder am I a complete fool for believing that he loved me. Is it a twin flame relationship or is it just unrequited love? I feel like I have been used by a narcissist who drained me of my energy and my love and used it to go to Canada and make himself feel better about himself and as soon as another woman shows she has feelings for him he sees new prey and drops me to drain the life out of someone else. I feel like I should warn her. Instead of feeling like I should do the inner work of self discovery on myself to be ready for my reunion with him I feel like I have been made a fool of and used. I feel like he must never have really loved me if he can move on so easily. I feel like he was just a fake who moulded himself into being the one for me to get an ego boost for himself and at the same time I love him and try and convince myself he is just scared and that eventually he will realise what we had and could have. I’m so confused as I don’t know what to think. Am I obsessing about the twin flame dynamic too much that I am going to stop myself from ever finding love again because of the belief that he may return? On every possible level the twin flame connection felt real for me, every stage of the relationship was real for me but what if it wasn’t for him? Is there any way to tell? What if he lied to me the whole time about his feelings? Is it just a normal break up where he really has just fallen out of love with me and found someone else? I feel like my whole life has fallen apart and what kind of a person must I be to attract a fake into my life? I don’t know was he real or did I imagine this person. At a soul level the love I feel is real but now he has definitely made it clear to me that he has no feelings. I’m trying to stay strong. I am focusing on looking after myself but I feel at this stage I just want to know was he a real twin flame or a fake…sorry for writing so much. I’m just so desperate for any help or advice at this stage that I felt the need to share my whole situation.

    • Erika,

      I am certainly no authority on Twin Flames but rather someone in the same situation as you. Your story is almost completely identical to mine with the exception of age and gender. In my case we are bot older (53) than you and yours and she was the runner who left me (man) opposite of your situation. Everything you describe has Twin Flame written all over it and if you’ve read a lot about it you have probably answered your question for the most part. However there are ways to find out for sure by using a reputable Channeler to find out. I did this after she left (even though I really knew in my heart already) but had a Channeling session which confirmed that we are indeed Twin Flames. While it was great to have confirmation it made everything that much harder for me to accept. If you decide to go this route to find out just be prepared for the answers you may receive. Sometime knowing the truth can be painful. For me not only did it confirm that we are truly TF’s but that we had been husband and wife in several past lives. She has been gone for over 2 1/2 months and we barely stay in contact and it has been so terribly painful for me. Like you said I feel like half of me is missing. She has been dealing with a bad divorce and a horrible ex husband who was abusive to her for years and it all became too much for her so she ran. Moved away and I’ve been struggling everyday since so I know your pain. In fact everyone here on this forum knows your pain because we are all in the same situation. I’ve questioned myself a million times and wondered if this is more like a curse than a blessing! It’s hard to keep your head together when your in so much pain but you have to focus on yourself even though it seems hopeless at times. If you decide to try using a Channeler let me know and I can recommend who I used. Good luck and stay strong.

      Wishing you the best,


      • Hi Jim, Thanks for your reply. Sorry to hear your situation. I know it’s so hard when you know yourself that this person is the other half of your soul and ye are meant to be together and to just feel that unconditional love deep at the core of your soul. When I listen to my heart I know without a doubt that he is my twin. It’s my mind that makes me doubt. It’s just because he is acting like a complete stranger now but I know his soul. Wouldn’t a fake twin be what you call the runner anyway as they would trapped in their ego and running from themselves? His issues are dealing with self love and therefore I believe he looked to me to provide him with something he can only find within himself. Maybe that’s why I feel used and drained of energy because I knew I couldn’t help him and it made me so upset. It sounds like your twin is dealing with issues of self love too and this can only be natural after what she has been through. I can empathise with your frustration when you know that if only they believed in your love for them they would come back but they need to find it within themselves. It’s so so hard. I guess we can only trust in our own hearts and the love that we have, all the time putting faith in ourselves and in our twin to work on their inner issues and comeback to us. I can only look at it as a blessing to have been given the gift to experience love as deep as this. To love without needing someone to fulfill you is a selfless act. Yes it is hard but I never regret meeting him because even though I have experienced so much pain I realise that we can only create our own pain. He was angry on the phone the last conversation we had and said why are you doing this to yourself. I accused him of doing this to me. It’s all so confusing sometimes I think maybe it’s me that wasn’t ready but then again maybe we both weren’t. If we look after ourselves only good can come of this. Did you find that your twin reflected inner issues that you needed to deal work on? Have you told her that you know she is your twin. I haven’t told mine for fear he might think i’m crazy and it might push him away even further. I have hinted in ways but never put it in words. But with the way he was at the start I do believe he knew that we had a soul connection too. Thank you for your advise, I might just get my head together first before I use a chaneller. Hope you are keeping well :)

      • Erika,
        Thank you for writing back too. My TF is doing the same thing right now also acting like a stranger only contacts me every so often to “update me” on her new life that she ran away to. She acts like what we had never happened (at least to me anyway) but while we were together she said so many beautiful things to me that made me feel like we would always stay together. The level of Love I experienced when we were together was something I was not prepared for! As I stated I am 53 years old (her too) and have had many partners over the years and non of them, in fact ALL of them put together and multiplied do not even come close to what I experienced with my TF. I’m sure you understand this by what you’ve written about your TF. When I think back over our time together I can’t imagine that she could forget what we shared. So many times when we were intimate we both experienced such a powerful Divine connection ( even seeing and feeling Divine Light energy) that we would lay together and cry tears and profess our Love to one another for hours. It makes me so sad and confused to have lost that! For anyone here who has experienced Love to that level understands how it can drive you mad. Right now I’m dealing with my ego and feeling angry at her for running away. While I know this is my hurdle that I have to conquer in order for me to get to where I need to be I struggle with it in almost every waking moment. On her end she has been so deeply hurt for so many years by her ex that she has to find herself again before she can handle what we had together. She once told me before she left that she felt what we shared showed her Love that she never knew existed and never experienced in 28 years of marriage. Well I could go one for hours but you know from your own experience how exhausting it is. I wish all of us could find our way back to one another again so we could heal humanity the way it should be. I long for the day when Heaven on Earth returns and we can all Love unconditionally and live in peace and harmony. Blessings to all here who are struggling as we work towards our divine reunions. Blessing Erika.


    • He said that he felt you were his soul mate… Those are very strong words to say that people don’t (or shouldn’t) say lightly. If you want to know if he was a fake… maybe you should ask him next time you talk to him. But not in a confrontational matter… I can picture him shutting himself down at the slightest confrontation. And if you have the slightest bitterness or anger, he will feel it. This is a big thing to work on.

      I’ve posted my story above… Let me know if you would like to chat for mutual support… I’d like to speak to someone of the opposite gender who’s going through the same as me. Maybe that will help me to get some insight. I’m going crazy from not being able to speak to Her. I’m Sebby, 28 years old.

      Send contact information at

      • Hi Sebby. Thanks for replying. It’s just all so confusing for me at the moment. When I listen to my heart and my instinct I know i’m not crazy to have imagined this connection. I do believe he felt it too not only by what he said but I could see it in his eyes and feel it in his heart. I did bring up what he mentioned about soul mates, he wasn’t even confrontational. It just seemed like he didn’t care anymore. He said that’s what he was feeling at the time and now it’s all just fizzled out for him and he doesn’t have it in him anymore. He said it became too intense and I seemed to get too overwhelmed by my emotions. He said we tried three times and it just wasn’t meant to be. He said his life is moving in a different direction and I need to find my own path, that i’m a beautiful strong person and i’m going to be very happy. He did say he will always love me and I will always be in his heart and we will always have a bond but it sounded like there was no feeling in his voice. He just seems like a stranger. It sounded so final. Everything he says lately is leaving me with a huge battle between my head and my heart. I’m struggling to fight my ego and keep my faith in the connection but I know also that is what I need to do to reclaim myself and be at peace and ready for a reunion. Sometimes I think he knows this is what i need to do and maybe he knows me more than I know myself. I felt ready before, I felt at peace and with the depth of the love I feel I believed I was strong eneough not to loose myself in the relationship again. However if I’m still chasing doesn’t that mean that I am indeed not ready and looking to him to save me and make me whole? I love him unconditionally, I know I can live without him but I would rather live with him. I felt like you did when you said why couldn’t we work through everything as a team and grow together as people through love and support. It wouId be so much easier. But I also have to put myself in his shoes and understand that he must be confused and scared too. He tells me I’m putting too much pressure on him and I do understand that must be making him run even further from me. I know a lot has got to do with this woman coming over from Canada to spend 6 weeks with him here. The situation right now is really hurting me as I feel like he may have found someone else, a relationship which feels more normal without any confusion and arguements. I feel like this is making him believe even more that what we had was too hard and would never work. He seems to be acting out of logic but i’m scared that he might fall for this other woman and forget about me. I believe he is my twin flame, the whole relationship so far went through every stage of the cycle, the love, the energy the awakening, the comfort, the familiarity, to the testing and confusion, blaming each other and the arguements to the crisis which we are now in. The hurt and pain I’m feeling from being separated from my other half is something I never experienced before. I now know what it feels like to love unconditionally but every day I feel like I am growing stronger. I sometimes think what if we were just karmic soul mates and were not meant to end up together but if that is the case what lesson has he learned from our relationship. Maybe he needs to be in another relationship to realise that he still has not dealt with his inner issues. I have to respect his free will. The whole universe seems to be against us at the moment. I guess I just have to accept that the timing was not right for us and to keep living my life and loving myself and growing more as a person. It’s all I can do. I find comfort in believing that we both were not ready. I believe that if we had have been then we would have had the inner tools to have overcome all the testing and situations we had to face. And if we were to try and force each other back into a relationship right now it would not work if we both are not ready and complete within ourselves. The one thing I have not done yet is surrender and I feel I have to do this as otherwise I am fighting against the cycle of life and causing more pain for myself and him. I have to let him go and keep loving him and praying he will take care of himself and eventually his heart will lead him back to me. The hardest part about it is that I always believe in following my heart and everytime I listen to it it leads me to him. I just have to believe that there is a higher universal plan at work and as long as I stay true to myself and live the good life I am always going in the right direction. He once said to me on a beautiful starry night, maybe our future is written up there, I will remember that moment forever and it gives me hope. I hope you are keeping well and pray that your twin will come back to you soon. I believe eventually the ego will become too much to bear and that we have no choice but to surrender to it.

      • Hi Erika,
        I am so glad that I stumbled across this site, it has given me a lot of insight and I’m beginning to understand my own situation. (My story is below)
        I can really sympathise with you. You are not crazy. I have been there and felt the pain you’ve been feeling. Love can be cruel and you can really hurt each other over the years. You’re in an awful predicament at the moment.

        It’s a terrible situation where there is nothing you can do but be patient. The moment you stop chasing and give him time he will begin to realise that he needs to be with you. He needs to be able to breathe and grow and find himself. My twin soul came back to me when all hope was lost and I had become resigned to a life without him. His love for me intensified over the years and we were blissfully happy until life slapped me in the face and I became the runner…

        In my case I didn’t know he was my twin soul until he had passed away,
        but I always knew there was something extraordinary at work, but couldn’t put my finger on it. John sensed it, too.
        He always said he felt like he’d known me for a thousand years and that he would love me for eternity. He used the term ‘We are one’ a lot too.
        I hadn’t heard the term twin soul until after he died, but now I realise that we ticked all the boxes.

  41. I feel I need to post just to kind of give people a little reassurance really, my story is near to the top of the page if anyone is interested in my story and if there are any similarities to there own stories, I have had to do a lot of work on my own ego to beable to deal with my TF and the running that as happened over the past nearly 4yrs, since May me and my TF are involved and will be together for the rest of our lives in this lifetime, he still has some stuff he is working on and don’t get me wrong I have what he calls ‘wobbles’ and want to run the hell away because it is still not 100% how I want it to be right now in this very moment, but I know its my ego and nothing else, If your doubting weather the person you think is your TF is just that, then listen to your intuition, your intuition is one of the most powerful tools we have within ourselves, meditation is very good to channel your own energy, The TF experience is one of the most painful experiences I have had to deal with but I always new deep down what he was, the person I had been with and been separated from over different life times, but in this life time we are going to be together because I feel that this is my last time in this carnation, I hope this makes sense to people, I know it dose to me, I suppose what I’m saying is find what helps you deal with your emotions and work on yourself and it will happen when it is supposed to .. <3

    • Hi Lisa. It really is refreshing to hear that you have reunited with your twin. I am so happy for you both. It’s rare you hear a story of reunion and it really does give me hope. Just over a year before my twin came into my life I had a bit of a rough patch where I was dealing with my own internal battle after a short term relationship that made me feeling a bit worthless. I began to question life in general and what it’s all about and began to feel that maybe I was destined to be unhappy. It came to a head when I had a panic attack one day. I had never had one before and believed that I was in fact having a heart attack. My heart was pounding and my body shaking and I really believed that I was going to die. I felt my whole life flashing before my eyes and thought of all the things I still hadn’t done yet in my life and how I had never found true love. I just thought I’m not ready to die yet and prayed that this was not the end. Well obviously I lived through the panic attack but it scared the life out of me and from that day on I felt so grateful to be alive and swore I was going to live. I had an awakening and I became so much stronger and reached such a happy stage of my life within. I felt the exact same as you when I had first met my twin. I was at a stage of my life where I was content in life and a month before my twin came into my life I really felt like something was about to happen, I just had this real inner knowing like never before. It’s strange now to think back that I went on one two dates with different guys both with the same name as my twin. I didn’t find that spark with either of these guys but it was like my intuition was guiding me to that particular name as if I had already known it. it’s hard to explain but it’s just something that stood out to me about the initial meeting. I just knew when I met my twin that there was something special about him. The comfort and the familiarity and the immediate chemistry was already there as if we had known eachother before. It was just natural and easy. He told me that when he was four years old he nearly died after an operation and I remember thinking even back at that early stage of the relationship that I would have been born the same year he nearly died. What if in fact we were not meant to be incarnated at the same time but destiny changed our fate. I remember even researching soul mates at search an early stage of the relationship to try and make some logic of how I felt like this about someone a barely knew. I remember reading about twin flames and thinking oh that sounds so hard and doesn’t seem like something I’d ever be able for and with the way I felt then there’s no way that we will ever argue and break up. How wrong I could have been!! It was only after the testing and the arguements to the separation that I am certain that we are twin flames. I do realise now that both of us were not ready at the time and your story does give me so much hope. I know I have issues with my ego I still need to deal with too. I started Kundalini yoga and meditation 7 months ago and I am reading a lot of spiritual books. He introduced me to spiritual books actually and suggested I read The Power of Now at the beginning of our relationship which I now look at as another test that I failed!! You are right though I just need to leave my intuition guide me and trust in my heart and that our connection is real. I know once the ego is shed all that’s left is the reality of how true our love is, anything else like doubts in my head seem insane. Can I just ask in your twin flame situation did you ever have to deal with him being in a relationship with anyone else before he came back to you?

      • Erika .. your experience dose seem to have similarties to mine, when I met him he had a partner of 17yrs, 2 small boys and he is still living there till January, so my situation was and still is very complicated but we have come so far since May and it has not been easy but we both know we are meant to be together and we never stop talking and working through things, he has never felt like this and I certainly haven’t .. I hope this helps .. :0)

  42. The love of my life died over two months ago and I feel devastated. He was only 57.
    I met John in 1975 when I was nearly 17 whilst on holiday in Jersey. I stayed in his parents’ guest house. My parents had stayed there the previous year. My dad took a massive heart attack and he was in the hospital for several weeks. So my mum got really friendly with John’s mum during her extended stay. This led to us returning there. This time I went with my sister.

    When I first met John it was an ‘eyes across the room’ kind of magic and we were inseparable for ten days. His feelings were so strong and he asked me to marry him after only four days. He was a sensitive and gentle soul. At age 19 he was already a very talented guitarist. He actually cried the night before I had to leave. Then he came to Belgium to see me three weeks later. He had great plans for us. His mum said I could move in with them and help with the guest house and still study if I wanted to. My father said we were far too young to get this serious. In those you had to listen to your parents and that was that.

    After writing to each other for a year, not being able to see each other again, as we lived so far away from each other, we drifted apart. I always felt so bad about that and guilty that I had just let him slip through my fingers. He was still trying to get me to come and live there. I didn’t know how that would be possible… I married someone else.
    Throughout the years I kept remembering my gentle Jersey John. Then, in 1989, I wrote to him. It was just a nice chatty letter enquiring how he was, if he was married and happy and telling him about my life. I also told him how sorry I was that we had drifted apart. He phoned me and we had a lovely long conversation. He had waited for me, but after six years he’d married someone else. He had two lovely daughters, he played in a band and was reasonably happy. I told him I was OK, too, married with one daughter. He sent me a Christmas card the following year with a promo photo of his band, which had been in a newspaper, and a photo of his children. We left it at that, as we didn’t want to intrude on each other’s marriage.

    Then in 2007 he contacted me via myspace. Within four days he told me he still loved me. I fell head over heels in love with him again. He had kept all my letters and photos of us together and a pendant I gave him in ’75. He’d been separated for nine years. He was on the verge of moving to France, to be with his daughters, who had moved into the house he’d bought with his ex.

    We emailed and phoned each other for a few months and we both felt so excited to meet up again. By that time my daughter had left home and my 25th wedding anniversary was looming. I wasn’t really happy in my marriage, as my husband is 21 years older and had changed into a control freak and was telling me how to live my life. The first meeting didn’t go too well. It was in the summer of 2007 and I stayed in a hotel near where he lived for a weekend. He was distant and nervous and even though his daughters were really welcoming and happy that we had met up again after all that time, he just didn’t want to pursue things, saying he wasn’t ready. I asked him if it was because of the way I now looked. I’d put on some weight and my hair was shorter. He said no, I still looked lovely and he’d seen the photos I’d sent him before we met up again, so it wasn’t that. We did kiss for ages the night before I left and it felt like all the years fell away and we were teenagers again. It was blissful and his did see the look of reconnection in his beautiful brown eyes, but I felt disappointed about the way things had turned out.

    It would be months before I’d get the chance to see him again. He got back in touch a few weeks later and apologized for the way he’d treated me. We took things slowly from then on and met up again before Christmas. This time, we really connected and fell deeply in love with each other. He told me he wanted me to move to France to be with him.
    He always said lovely things to me on the phone, like ‘We are One’ I always remember he used to tell me that ‘we belong together for eternity’, ‘I love you forever, till the end of time’… It was as though deep within our souls we knew about the connection. He said he felt we’d known each other for a thousand years. He spoke from the soul, he spoke a truth he didn’t realise at the time. But now I realise that he was right.

    Then when I finally made the step to be with him, he rejected me. Again, he was the runner. He said he was scared. It was the most painful experience of my life. I went over to see him when he moved to France and rented a holiday cottage so that we could be together at last. We would see where this would take us. It was the worst ten days of my life. He hardly spent any time with me and it was so devastating. He said I was being pushy and that things were moving too fast. That could be because at that time, I had to make big decisions in my life and decide where to live and find work etc…. all the practical things you have to deal with.

    It’s a long story, but we came through it. We were so in love with each other and were blissfully happy.
    He asked me to marry him on the exact same date he asked me 33 years before that and he didn’t realise till I pointed it out. We dreamt the same dreams, we emailed each other at the same time. We never argued and were so at ease with each other. We were so close, so effortlessly comfortable around each other. I think we both intuitively knew we were spiritually connected.

    I read somewhere: ‘Even if you don’t speak for weeks or months, even years, there’s always an inevitable drawing that eventually brings you back in touch with your twin soul. No matter how many times you break up or separate, forces seems to bring you back together. You see the “signs” and reminders of that twin connection everywhere, urging you back together.’

    We ended up living together in Brittany and were planning to get married. Although we always got on really well and John was kind, gentle and sweet, he had already started on a downward spiral with his drink problem several years before our reunion. We all tried to help him to no avail. It was hard to watch him slowly killing himself with wine.

    I missed my daughter who was about to move even further away to Canada. The only work I could get in Brittany was in a freezing salmon factory. After 8 months I had to attend a medical and the doctor said I couldn’t work there anymore, because of my heart condition and asthma. I couldn’t find any other work there and would have lost my health insurance. I have a pacemaker, which was due to be replaced and I couldn’t afford to do that without insurance. I also had a loan to pay off in the UK, so needed a steady income. It was a complete nightmare and I felt so depressed and I panicked….

    I sacrificed the only good thing in my life…. my poor John… Even though I didn’t live with him anymore, I thought about him all the time and we kept in daily touch and spoke to each other on the phone twice a week. I always expected that we would be together again someday. He went to pieces after I left. I’ve been living a half-life without him for the past four years. Consumed by guilt, I was absolutely devastated after his death. It has been the worst time of my life.
    I will always love him. I went to see a medium last week…. but that’s another story…

    • Hi Sabine. Your story is so beautiful,makes me cry every time I read it. Even after so much years apart it just proves that love never dies. That love you experienced can never be taken away from you and I do believe that you and John will be together again :) Your story gives me so much hope that there is more to the relationship I just experienced than just a ‘normal’ break up. Coming back to this page helps me so much. Thank you so much for your advice. I have been giving him space to breath. This is the first time I’ve stopped contact with him with the exception of a reply to a Christmas Day message he sent me. For the past few weeks I have been going through a roller coaster of emotions. At first I began to feel such hatred towards him. At times I wished I never met him as I wouldn’t be feeling like this otherwise. I found myself thinking that I’m not spiritual eneough to accept this kind of connection and wishing that I could just take him out of my head and my heart and forget about him because it’s just too much for me to handle right now. Then I realised that I am the only person who can make me feel like this. I’ve been having such a hard time batteling with what makes logical sense in my head and what I feel in my heart. The only conclusion that I keep coming to and the only thing that makes me at peace is accepting the fact that I do love him so very much, to the core of my very being and I cannot fight against that internal truth. It’s only causing me too much pain and surrendering to the fact that he is gone now is the only thing I can do. Now my anger has resided and has been replaced by tears. I just wish I could see him, give him a huge hug, look into his eyes and see the light from his soul shining through again. Oh all these mixture of emotions are sometimes too overbearing but I guess life never throws us anything which we are not strong eneough to overcome. I like what you said about the inevitable drawing that eventually brings you back in touch with your twin because sometimes I get scared that if I really surrender this is the end and I’ll never see him or hear his voice again. Somedays I feel confident and strong but others that fear just creeps in again. I know I just need to keep my faith and take care of myself. I suppose its all just been so recent for me I haven’t had much time to really heal and focus on myself yet. I feel like I’m just praying for some kind of omen or sign that I am on the right path but I feel so alone. Reading your story and others here makes me feel I’m not alone though. Hope you are keeping well :)

      • Erika,

        Every single thing you are experiencing and feeling is exactly what I’ve been going through too. I’ve had all the same mix of feelings about my TF going from anger to hurt to surrender to tears to wonder and confusion, it’s maddening!! I have even started to casually date as a way to try to distract myself and maybe ease the pain a little. Actually I met someone very sweet who I like and enjoy her company and still I can’t get my mind off my TF! The harder I try the harder it gets! There’s times when I feel like I’m being tortured by having experienced the greatest, purest and most powerful Love I’ve ever known and having it taken away. I wake up every morning feeling like its just the same bad dream everyday over and over. Every so often I get this tremendous rush of energy in my heart chakra that stops me in my tracks! I wonder what that is all about? It makes me nuts sometimes because I feel like this will never get better unless she comes back but I have started to feel doubtful and discouraged. I try to be faithful but it just gets harder and exhausting. Well, wishing all of you here a Happy New Year and maybe 2014 will bring us all some well deserved Peace!


  43. Hello, i could really use some help. I’m at a phase where i feel like i’m so done with my twin! I cant stand the fact that he ignores me and i really want to tell him that i’m done with him this way. Should i or should i just back off… I wanna get over this.. Pleas help.

    • Hello Zion,
      You could try to just ignore him and see how he likes it. A twin relationship can get very intense and a bit of space is always good. When he is good and ready and if it’s really meant to be he will return.

      • Hi, thanks so much for your reply. Theres no one i can talk to about this. We’ve been going back and forth since may 2011 and i’m sooo tired of it. I don’t even know what i’m feeling right now. I don’t feel i miss him right now and i’m really trying to let go. One side i just want to be done and never contact him again and maybe find someone else, but then i question myself, is that really how i’m feeling? I try to protect myself by not feeling him. It makes me insecure to not know what i’m feeling even though the only answer is letting go…

      • Hello Zion,
        I know exactly how you are feeling. I went through the same situation six years ago. I remember sitting beside the Eiffel Tower reflecting on the bitter disappointment I felt due to his rejection of me. It was the worst pain ever. loved him so much and he was indifferent to me, after months of professing his love for me, he had changed his mind and didn’t want to get involved.
        I was in such a daze that I missed the last metro back to the Gare du Nord, where I was to catch my return train home. No taxis in sight, so I started walking back. Then just to crown things I nearly got mugged by a couple of thugs on bicycles. It was a dark night of the soul…. I felt so miserable.
        But miraculously things did turn around… in time. My twin soul was scared, he wasn’t ready yet.
        My advise is to just be guided by your feelings and do what you think is right at the time. If you want to tell him it’s over, do so….But if you can’t bear to do that, just give him space….
        My motto at the time was based on an old Chinese proverb: If you don’t know what to do, don’t do anything…..

      • I couldnt reply on your last comment, but i want to thank you for your kind advice. I really appreciate is Sabine. . Thank you.

  44. I’m just curious if when your soulmate/twin flame purposely makes himself so busy in his life (multiple projects going on etc) that he’s rarely in contact when we use to talk at least once a week even if briefly does this mean he’s running?

    Making himself “unavailable” to the point where all we have is our telepathic connection which is infrequent now. I’ve been looking for something with what actual signs are you know like the actions they take in their lives etc. Haven’t found anything so hence why I ask.

    I only presume with as busy as he is that this is on purpose for our connection was very strong from the beginning and I’m thinking this has somehow now gotten so strong that it has scared him as to how real it is and is now finding ways to put it off.

    Can anyone clairfy actual signs your soulmate/twin flame is running, not the spiritual stuff but actual real life what’s going on as far as on the earthly plane stuff.

    • I don’t think that there are particular signs. If he avoids you then he’s running, it’s as simple as that. For your situation, he’s avoiding you because nobody can be so busy that they don’t even have one minute to speak to their loved one.

      • Well he has read my email to him just hasn’t responded, it was a poem I sent him and I think it overwhelmed him a bit. You see he and I have NOT even met yet. This has been online and astral only. He does chat with me on threads of his on Facebook. So I realize now it’s not avoidance.. he’s not running, he’s just taking it all in…

  45. Do runners ever avoid/ignore your existence for a while then randomly get in contact with you?

    I believe he is the runner and I am the chaser. He got in contact with me late at night and we started off friendly, then flirly then it got deep to the point where we both admitted to thinking about each other. Then a whole “this is getting too serious” came from him and he said we will talk about it later, which in his words is “I don’t want to talk about it”. Its weird because I feel like he wants to tell me something but something is stopping him and he ends up avoiding me

  46. I posted above that she denied being my twin. I can’t help, I keep sending her emails every once in a while. She finally replied a few days ago and said that we will always be twins, but that she doesn’t love me anymore because I’ve said ugly things to her and betrayed her, and she fears me. She’s hurt me equally but she denies that part. The amazing thing is that she mentioned her ego, even though she hasn’t read this website and it’s not a word I thought was part of her active vocabulary. I know that she loves me even if she denies it. Also, it wouldn’t make sense to call someone your twin soul and not love them. She needs to get over her ego, I have to be patient for that. I got over mine so she will get over hers. I just don’t know if I should keep pestering her. It seems that it made the situation better.

  47. Just a quick update.. he and I are now talking.. we private message each other often on Facebook, it’s just small talk and not daily but we are talking…

  48. What can I do? We’ve been playing the runner and chaser role in all this 4 years, I can’t forget him now, this city is really small and we met everywhere, it’s an awkward and magnetic feeling, but I want to run because he hurted me and left me and I’ve left him before too and I said awful things to him, like he did. Something he is the runner and sometimes the stayer and so on.
    We’ve been face to face and we said nothing! We’ve been were petrified, staring each other eyes, and then, the last time, I went to the other side of the street just because I couldn’t face him! His eyes were sad, and I felt weak and ashamed. Then he run, literally I saw him running. Now I am in another relationship and I began to think about him everyday. He never says hello to me, like me, I don’t know why but I get really nervous in front of him and I can’t say nothing. We both could walk in the streets full of people, then turn around and recognize our eyes. This is driving me crazy, because I spent all these years trying to forget and forgive him, and thinking that all was a dream and a nightmare, that I never loved him, that was infatuation, that he just stopped loving me from one day to another and went mad at me for nothing because he was a jerk and I was an immature spoiled girl. But he is the only one that I can’t forget, I can talk to mi exes, to the boys I’ve rejected, the ones that rejected me, like they were my friends, but with him is impossible.
    Once, years ago he sent me a note “I don’t know why when I see you, my knees are shaking and I’m trembling with fear”. When we fought after he left me, I tought was a lie, that he never felt anything for me, but now I remember all the things I did to him.

  49. I don’t agree. Yes, often times twin relationships end, but its not so much some one who is running away from a “chaser”. Twin relationships are relationships with your own soul. You are given a choice, face your soul, or deny it. If you choose to deny it, you cannot co-exist with your twin simply because they keep reflecting all your problems.

    It is completely unfair, to promise that a “runner” will return and you will be happily ever after in several years. You are simply writing what people want to hear. You keep pulling this relationship to the common world, but it is a “Soul Connection”. Soul Connections do not have shape, or form, and can only exist, if you let them.

    • I don’t agree. Twin souls and twin flames and soul mate connections between people do exist. We are human yes but the body is a vessel for the soul and I believe we choose to incarnate and meet up with our soul family on the earthly plane to learn human lessons.

      Based on a very intense dream/vision I had two nights ago of me and my soul mate and being highly psychic and intuitive I KNOW this was us in another dimension discussing us coming to Earth here in this incarnation. It was very vivid. He and I now interact on the Earth plane, and while it’s still new in blossoming in this incarnation this is more than just a “soul connection” but a blossoming friendship between two people who where in one case has not elevated their Higher Self (him) and it is I with my Higher Self elevating him to start to see the connection between us.

      Not to mention that many others (at least 20) of our “mutual friends” have also noticed the energy between us and have said this is a soul connection that has incarnated into human form. We both chose it, there is a past life connection (several actually) and well that’s all I will say.

      • Kimberley,

        I never denied the existence of twin flames. In fact I believe I have met mine as well. However, If you believe twin flame relationships are on a higher level, and of another dimension, do you not believe it is not a relationship that can be described as predictable? I have written about certain “signs” you may have when meeting a twin, but to say for certain, a twin will return or one will always run or chase is a bit primitive. Nothing is for certain, and that is what makes it like magic. You feel it, and you know, and its as simple as that.

      • I believe everything you say because my twin has had vivid lucid dreams of us together in different times both in the past and in the future (we weren’t on Earth anymore). I also felt one of the purposes of our reunion is so I can help her ascend in consciousness. I was the first to recognize our connection and with patience she, on her own, recognized it as well. It is both the most beautiful and the most traumatic relationship I have ever been involved with because, like princessdeficit pointed out, I am indeed confronting EVERY belief that is in me and it is not pleasant at all. And I have been tempted with the notion of just leaving it all (which I am free to do). Only through higher consciousness can I deal with it. I once intended to see through meditation where we “began” but what I saw was that we have always been and we will always be.

  50. I met him 10 years back on internet. My first love. I am still skeptical about this twin flame concept or I guess I don’t want to believe it.. or I will go crazy so referring to him as my 1st love. I felt a strong pull towards him from the beginning. Felt something was different about him. My heart used to flutter every time I saw him online. Even today it does every time he calls. Initially I brushed these feelings off thinking it’s just infatuation..It’s not him but some image I have created in my mind that I am in love with. Because it felt so stupid. He was some random guy on internet who I did not even know and I was having such strong feelings for him? It remained platonic for 2 years. Then we exchanged cell numbers. I called him and got to know he was soon leaving for US for higher studies. He told me that he feels like I want more than just friendship. I asked him was it possible? He said we would be in different countries; he has taken a huge loan, he needs to make something out of his it was not possible. It all made sense but I was devastated. Next week some friend asked me out and I started dating. He told me not to rush into a relation. Then I stopped talking to him because I wanted to move on. That relation lasted 2-3 months where I really missed my 1st love. And I emotionally checked out of that relation when one day my 1st love messaged me and I broke up after a month with my bf. But that relation taught me an important lesson that I wanted my 1st love in my life even if it was as a friend. Either way it was going to hurt. I would rather talk to me and get hurt by his indifference than not have him in my life and get hurt. And I also decided to come to US for higher studies. I could not get admission in the same state as him, in fact he was on west coast and I was down south. He would talk to me but always kept me at some distance. After 1st semester I told him I was coming to his city to see one of my aunt and asked if he would meet. He refused but once I was there he finally agreed. But as destiny would have it we could not meet. And I knew he probably might not agree again to meet. His indifference finally got to me. I was emotionally burned out. I knew there was nothing more I could do.nothing more left in me to keep on trying. I met someone wonderful. In three months started dating, broke contact with my 1st love and within a year I was married. 2 wonderful years passed by with my amazing husband. I forgot about my 1st love. But then after 2 years out of nowhere I started missing him. I started looking for him on internet, started crying over him and after a week a miracle happens and he sends me a message asking me if I am still alive. We chat, catch up on last 2 yrs. I tell him to keep in touch but he never messaged again. Then I shoot him am email after 4-5 months and he tells me he was just thinking about me and there I am. We chat. He tells me I should have met him now. Back then he was not ready. He felt he was not good enough and why I was wasting my time on him. He asks me when am I coming to see him? But then he tells me about a girl in his life who he was about to start dating but due to some serious health issues she is having she refuses to meet him now . I am stunned. Just few moments back I felt this strong connection with him and now I don’t know where I stand in all this. It hurts but I start praying for that girl’s health, to give my 1st love strength to pass through this tough time. I am a very self centered person and I was surprised when I started praying for him and her. . Nothing made sense. That’s when I started looking over internet for answers and I stumble upon twin flame concept and in my gut I felt this was what it wass. He asks me to leave as he can only add trouble in my life. After 6 months I book a ticket and we meet for the 1st time after 8 years. We spend a day together and just before leaving we kiss. If there is anything like a long chaste kiss that’s how it was like. It felt so right. He asked me when I am coming back but I told him I don’t want an affair. He does not want it either. For the last 2 years we have been talking over phone. Every few months we get weak..mostly him…and we talk each other out because we both know if we meet again we will end up making out. But last 6 months things got very intense and he told me that we will only talk once a month. But instead of it making things better.. it got worse as I would call after a month and we would talk almost all night, not wanting to keep the phone down. And then I would start counting days until it was time to call again. Last time we did a web chat we stayed up whole night. He tells me that I would go any extent that he ask me of..he could treat me like shit and I won’t complain. Next morning he messages me that he is coming over to see me. I laugh it off and say he has gone crazy. He changes his mind ..says its of no use but talks about the kiss we shared 2 yrs back. How he felt my love n affection in that kiss. And how my husband deserves it. Then I go weak and talk him into meeting me. Then he also tells me he has hooked up with his ex. Calls it friends with benefit kind of relation. Tells me that he and his ex cannot live with each other and cannot live without each other. But he needs to get out of that as his ex has been in a serious relation for last 3 yrs and he wants to hook up with someone else. I ask him why me. He says because he has known me for long time. But says it does not feel right..he feels like he is using me. Again I get shocked. Again I don’t know where I stand in all this. I tell him I don’t want to meet because he will try to look for his ex in me. And with this I wish him well and say goodbye. This thing really offends him..he says really hurtful things, tells me that he opened up and I showed him my true colors and tells me to never come back. Tells me I was faking everything and I am all words. Now it has been 4 months since then. Initially I was really hurt but now I believe the reason he does not believe in my love is because he does not love himself and does not believe anyone else can either. In my case I am not really sure what I need to work on (according to twin flame concept) Although I am devastated..again it looks like I just imagined it all in my mind but my gut says otherwise. I don’t feel bitter, angry or jealous..just sad..I want to dismiss all this as a case of unrequited love..maybe wanting to believe in twin flame is my defense mechanism to escape hurt because I don’t want to accept that I never mattered to him..never existed to him. If that were to be true. It would break my soul..twin flame or not I have never wanted anything or anyone as badly as I have wanted him. And my gut says 10 years, 20 yrs, 50 yrs..I would still feel the same for him. And my heart will still skip a beat when I see him or see his msg ..his it did when I first met him.

  51. I met him 10 years back on internet. My first love. I am still skeptical about this twin flame concept or I guess I don’t want to believe it.. or I will go crazy so referring to him as my 1st love. I felt a strong pull towards him from the beginning. Felt something was different about him. My heart used to flutter every time I saw him online. Even today it does every time he calls. Initially I brushed these feelings off thinking it’s just infatuation..It’s not him but some image I have created in my mind that I am in love with. Because it felt so stupid. He was some random guy on internet who I did not even know and I was having such strong feelings for him? It remained platonic for 2 years. Then we exchanged cell numbers. I called him and got to know he was soon leaving for US for higher studies. He told me that he feels like I want more than just friendship. I asked him was it possible? He said we would be in different countries; he has taken a huge loan, he needs to make something out of his it was not possible. It all made sense but I was devastated. Next week some friend asked me out and I started dating. He told me not to rush into a relation. Then I stopped talking to him because I wanted to move on. That relation lasted 2-3 months where I really missed my 1st love. And I emotionally checked out of that relation when one day my 1st love messaged me and I broke up after a month with my bf. But that relation taught me an important lesson that I wanted my 1st love in my life even if it was as a friend. Either way it was going to hurt. I would rather talk to me and get hurt by his indifference than not have him in my life and get hurt. And I also decided to come to US for higher studies. I could not get admission in the same state as him, in fact he was on west coast and I was down south. He would talk to me but always kept me at some distance. After 1st semester I told him I was coming to his city to see one of my aunt and asked if he would meet. He refused but once I was there he finally agreed. But as destiny would have it we could not meet. And I knew he probably might not agree again to meet. His indifference finally got to me. I was emotionally burned out. I knew there was nothing more I could do.nothing more left in me to keep on trying. I met someone wonderful. In three months started dating, broke contact with my 1st love and within a year I was married. 2 wonderful years passed by with my amazing husband. I forgot about my 1st love. But then after 2 years out of nowhere I started missing him. I started looking for him on internet, started crying over him and after a week a miracle happens and he sends me a message asking me if I am still alive. We chat, catch up on last 2 yrs. I tell him to keep in touch but he never messaged again. Then I shoot him am email after 4-5 months and he tells me he was just thinking about me and there I am. We chat. He tells me I should have met him now. Back then he was not ready. He felt he was not good enough and why I was wasting my time on him. He asks me when am I coming to see him? But then he tells me about a girl in his life who he was about to start dating but due to some serious health issues she is having she refuses to meet him now . I am stunned. Just few moments back I felt this strong connection with him and now I don’t know where I stand in all this. It hurts but I start praying for that girl’s health, to give my 1st love strength to pass through this tough time. I am a very self centered person and I was surprised when I started praying for him and her. . Nothing made sense. That’s when I started looking over internet for answers and I stumble upon twin flame concept and in my gut I felt this was what it wass. He asks me to leave as he can only add trouble in my life. After 6 months I book a ticket and we meet for the 1st time after 8 years. We spend a day together and just before leaving we kiss. If there is anything like a long chaste kiss that’s how it was like. It felt so right. He asked me when I am coming back but I told him I don’t want an affair. He does not want it either. For the last 2 years we have been talking over phone. Every few months we get weak..mostly him…and we talk each other out because we both know if we meet again we will end up making out. But last 6 months things got very intense and he told me that we will only talk once a month. But instead of it making things better.. it got worse as I would call after a month and we would talk almost all night, not wanting to keep the phone down. And then I would start counting days until it was time to call again. Last time we did a web chat we stayed up whole night. He tells me that I would go any extent that he ask me of..he could treat me like shit and I won’t complain. Next morning he messages me that he is coming over to see me. I laugh it off and say he has gone crazy. He changes his mind ..says its of no use but talks about the kiss we shared 2 yrs back. How he felt my love n affection in that kiss. And how my husband deserves it. Then I go weak and talk him into meeting me. Then he also tells me he has hooked up with his ex. Calls it friends with benefit kind of relation. Tells me that he and his ex cannot live with each other and cannot live without each other. But he needs to get out of that as his ex has been in a serious relation for last 3 yrs and he wants to hook up with someone else. I ask him why me. He says because he has known me for long time. But says it does not feel right..he feels like he is using me. Again I get shocked. Again I don’t know where I stand in all this. I tell him I don’t want to meet because he will try to look for his ex in me. And with this I wish him well and say goodbye. This thing really offends him..he says really hurtful things, tells me that he opened up and I showed him my true colors and tells me to never come back. Tells me I was faking everything and I am all words. Now it has been 4 months since then. Initially I was really hurt but now I believe the reason he does not believe in my love is because he does not love himself and does not believe anyone else can either. In my case I am not really sure what I need to work on (according to twin flame concept) Although I am devastated..again it looks like I just imagined it all in my mind but my gut says otherwise. I don’t feel bitter, angry or jealous..just sad..I want to dismiss all this as a case of unrequited love..maybe wanting to believe in twin flame is my defense mechanism to escape hurt because I don’t want to accept that I never mattered to him..never existed to him. If that were to be true. It would break my soul..twin flame or not I have never wanted anything or anyone as badly as I have wanted him. And my gut says 10 years, 20 yrs, 50 yrs..I would still feel the same for him. And my heart will still skip a beat when I see him or see his msg ..his it did when I first met him.

    • I am NOT a runner, I will forgive my love EVERYTHING. But let me try to identify with your love.

      If I wasn’t ready to get in a relationship but you stopped talking to me to date someone else… I would be crushed. I’d feel cheated. As for the marriage… Multiply that feeling by 10000.

      My guess is that there’s an ego issue underlying… And that his harsh words and the other girl are his ways of trying to heal his ego and getting revenge.

      But it’s possible that he lied and played you… Some men are players. It’s up to you to know.

      As for your husband, did you tell him what happened? That husband doesn’t deserve to be made a fool of. It’s cruel to be married to him and love someone else.

      • “If I wasn’t ready to get in a relationship but you stopped talking to me to date someone else… I would be crushed. I’d feel cheated. As for the marriage… Multiply that feeling by 10000.”
        As foolish as it may sound I never thought of that. He never said he was not ready he always said he was not interested in me and I believed him. It was only when we talked this time he told me he always felt I was kind of obsessed with him and that I would eventually move on. Which I did. And I always thought if I move on he would not care. Which he did as he slowly stopped taking my calls once I told him that I was dating. And then I lost my cell phone and lost his no. I did not know how to give him my new no. What could I have said “I know you won’t call me.. or pick my call but here is my new no. And can you give me yours” I thought if he really wanted to call he ll ask for my no. which he never did. Now when I look back it all sounds like ego issues. But back then I took it as a sign from God that maybe he is sending me a message that it is not meant to be. That’s why we could never meet.
        He is defiantly not a player. That I know for sure. He could have played me all along but never did. He never had to tell me about all this. And revenge is not at all in picture..As he once said regarding revenge..that he is too old for that stuff. I believe him. We have never played any games with each other. And have always been honest to each other. It more of insecurities issues. We never shared our insecurities about each other.
        Now the hardest question. Does my husband know all this? He knows little bit about him that I was talking to him when we started dating. Nothing about that I was in touch with him again. I don’t yet have guts to admit to that. And it is cruel. I would be devastated if he did that to me. I don’t deserve him. He deserves someone so much better. But I don’t want to leave him. As strange as it may sound I love him too.
        “It’s cruel to be married to him and love someone else.”
        I agree. I don’t know how I can control how I feel. I wish I could. I can only control how I act. And I am trying my best. I always thought that I would keep my respectable distance from my 1st love. And if I fail to do that I would stop talking to him. Planning on meeting him again was wrong. A guilt that I have to live with. I just hope now that we have stopped talking… Maybe everything will be back to normal. My gut says it won’t. But people say time heals everything. I hope that is true. I am not yet ready to give up on my marriage.

  52. Thanks for sharing these information. I am the runner and I have done and said some stuff to my twin that I wish I could take back. This article resonates so much with my situation. I thought she was a psycho and crazy for wanting to be with me and for loving me. I could not see what she saw in me. I find myself loving her then hating her then loving her again. I wanted to be close to her and get away from her at the same time. I just could not deal with all the emotions. It was too much drama and I was not ready. I still don’t know if I am ready but I am at the end of my ropes… I have to face her, it’s been almost 2 years of running and I am tired of running.

    Thanks Divine :-)

    • Thanks for sharing Mark
      I wish you and your twin eternal love and happiness…

      Stay strong

      Love Cupid Girl

    • How were you feeling when running? Were you thinking about her every minute of the day or did you just store in the back of the mind? … Why do you hate someone who loves you so much? …

      Those are questions I’d like to ask my runner.

    • You want to speak to her ASAP now. Silent abuse is the worst form of abuse. She’d probably prefer to be punched in the face.

      • Thanks for sharing Sebby… Some great information.

        I posted the article below if anyone cares to read it;

        Silent abuse – The mind game by Teresa Cooper
        21st Nov 2013 | in

        We have all suffered many forms of abuse but the least talked about is “The mind game” otherwise know as the silent treatment, deliberately ignored to cause harm to another persons mental well being, sent to coventry and it’s one of the most harmful methods of abuse used by abusers who feel that

        “If they do not use their hands to physically abuse then it isn’t abuse.”


        It is abuse to ignore some ones needs emotionally and make them feel worthless and depressed and will cause long term damage that in many cases can lead to the victims physical health being harmed.

        To deliberately cause harm to someone by use of the silent treatment, deny a person any emotional care, deny them any praise, starve them of love, affection, compliments, positive feed back, to regularly reject, degrade and deny a person any emotional responsiveness and to ignore a persons needs is mental abuse or also known as psychological abuse. It is repetitive abuse that’s aimed at controlling, diminishing another persons well being in order to hurt, punish, harm or control them.

        The silent abuser is able to switch himself off emotionally to the pain and suffering he is causing his victim and will deny he is the problem and he may tell himself or others that he is the victim.

        You stop being a victim when you become the abuser

        The abuser is capable of closing down all reasonable sense of emotions and turn into a cold heart very fast as he withdraws into his own world without any care for his victims distress . The abuser will behave in society charming, calm, happy, he will be seen by others as a pillar of society, gentle natured, helpful, kind, caring and fool the outside world into thinking he is abused and his partner is the abuser. This is classic of a mental abuser. They will have their partner labelled a mental case whilst he plays the victim and saint and makes her the subject of of every ones rejection by labelling her with an unbalanced mind.

        The true victim will be further rejected not only by her abuser but also by his friends, work colleagues, family and others he is likely to meet. The abuser needs to feel in control and he will seek constant approval from those around him and convince them that he’s the true victim. They will offer him advice and he will feed off their pity which will make him feel even more in control as he plays the victim.

        The true victims may withdraw from all social activities, work, stop seeing family, they stop being fun, will see everything in a negative light, stop eating which is the start of dangerous health issues, cry alone, send text terror messages as a means to fight back which only gives the abuser more ammunition to abuse her with as he will use that as a further excuse to ignore and make her look bad in front of others. The abuser will happily share the text messages because he wants everyone to see him as the victim. The true victim will stop functioning on all levels as the mind games take over her life. She will find it hard to think of anything else but what is happening to her. The victim will fight with her own mind and struggle to work out if she is being abused or is she truly the problem. The victim may start behaving irrationally from the stress caused by the mental abuse.

        Mental abuse is not normally seen by anyone on the outside looking in because they see the abuser as a strong, calm, caring and sincere person and will not be able to see the true character behind the person in front of them that they think they know so well.

        Do you really know the person standing next to you?

        Out of all the abuse I suffered the one part of the abuse I have always struggled with is the “being ignored” because when I begged for the abuser to stop no one listened. The more I was ignored the more it built up an extreme and unlikely intolerance for being “ignored” which has stayed with me as an adult. I left care with that intolerance to the ugly side of human nature that sees many people misuse the silent treatment to harm others. Some justify this behaviour and kid themselves that it’s in some way an honourable stance to take. Ignoring someone briefly when done to express dissatisfaction is very different to the silent treatment. To ignore someone as a regular means to punish, hurt or upset someone as payback or for whatever reason, it is in my opinion and the opinions of experts to be considered one of the worst forms of mental abuse that exists in human nature. It causes irreparable damage to a person’s mind and will see the victims behaviour change slowly but noticeably when its out of control by others who are close. There are times the abuse continues and the victims show now outward signs to those who are close whilst the mental abuser get to witness the dramatic and extreme behaviour change in direct response to his/her mental abuse in the “silent treatment”.

        The silent treatment is a form of punishment and control and the person using it to harm another feels a lack of care and can not or will not communicate as she/he watches the victim slowly deteriorate from being a lively happy and fun person into becoming withdrawn, reclusive or maybe verbally aggressive to the abuser in a vain bid to stop the abuse of the mind. The person dishing out the “silent treatment is FULLY aware of the damage they are doing and they are FULLY aware that all they need to do to stop it is to simply talk to the victim. The abuser will not talk to the victim and when he does he will constantly lead the victim into a false sense of security at leisure. Then ignore again. The abuser will provoke any situation with silence which triggers off the victim who can never work out what has happened to warrant more silent treatment and again the victim finds himself/herself fighting desperately with the abuser in a vain bid to stop her/him giving the silent treatment all over again.

        The victims behaviour can change so dramatically he/she is hardly recognized as being the same person. Every time the silent treatment begins the victim is pulled further and further down and the abuser sits back and carries on with daily chores blatantly ignoring the victim whom is obviously so distressed that no normal thinking individual person could sit back and watch such a shocking display of suffering. The victim may withdraw completely, stop talking i.e. friends, stop socializing, stop eating, start drinking, stop working, start text terrorism against the abuser as a defence mechanism of protection but it never works, suicidal thoughts, self-harm and that’s just a few of the side effects of a victim suffering from mental abuse.

        The “silent treatment” otherwise named as “deliberate intent to ignore” or “ATCH” which means absent to cause harm which is where an abuser completely cuts the victim off and the abuser will not budge. They often acknowledge in their own minds that the victim is suffering but do nothing about it and walk away and simply ignore it.

        The latter is a very dangerous form of mental abuse.

        I have often heard stories of men ignoring their partner after causing her such distress that she has taken to self-harm or attempt to take her own life from where the mental abuse has weakened her once strong mind into a nerve wrecking display of self doubt and depression. The abuser will hear her calls of desperation and he will empty himself of all emotions and walk away. He will show no emotions as she tries to take her own life. He will convince himself that she deserves it for hurting his feelings by trying to fight back.

        Its not often friends get to witness the mental abuse of the systematic silent treatment from a partner because it is silent but in some cases friends will witness erratic behaviour of the victim and they cant quite understand what’s going on because the victim will blame everything but her abusive partner. It is rare anyone on the outside of the relationship sees the suffering of the victim as the abuse often like most forms of abuse stays “within the immediate relationship”. The male abusers friends will only see this charming friend they all love because he will do anything for them but seldom do his friends or family witness what he is doing to his partner. They will only see the abusers partners displays of distress.

        The “silent treatment, ignoring or ATCH” abuser is fully aware of their actions and fully aware they are causing a significant amount of harm to the victim in most cases but there are those who do believe they are the victim. The victim may at times have the odd outburst in front of others or in a public place. The abuser will then inform his family of every little thing his victim partner does as he seeks refuge and portrays himself as the victim in need of support because he has a totally “maniac” partner whose lost the plot.

        This form of mental abuse is often used by the man more so than a woman.

        Eventually once the victim has been totally broken down by the mental abuser she will give up fighting back and beg for forgiveness and beg the abusive partner to forgive her. She may well go to the extremes to try and make it up to her man because she has been broken in and is now under his mind control. The man will continue to use this method of mind control and ignore, use the silent treatment or ATCH tactics until his partner has been totally exhausted, feels totally helpless and it opens her up to being controlled so the man gets what he wants. Sadly this form of abuse has seen the deaths of women who self-harmed or attempted suicide as a cry for help and those cries for help ignored by the abuser and has resulted in her death.

        Self-harm – deliberate cutting or mutilation of one’s own body including rip hair out, stop eating, stop going out, withdraw from society, cut off hair, stay in bed, over eat or attempt suicide.

        The reason I am touching on this subject is because I have seen a number of women email me on facebook who are going through this right now with their Turkish partners or have just left such an abusive relationship and sit in silence blaming themselves. I also want to touch on this subject because I am a survivor of child abuse and I myself have gone through the mental abuse process and contrary to what people believe, it is not easy to leave such a controlling relationship.

        Men who have been abused as children physically, sexually or mentally and/or suffered abuse by a parent due to the damaging effects of poverty are well known for using the “silent treatment, ignoring and ATCH” methods to punish and control their partners. These men will convince themselves they are not abusing because they haven’t physically hit the woman and he will convince her he’s very good to her by not saying anything. He will almost always convince himself he’s the victim and show no remorse at all for the suffering he is causing by punishing and controlling someone he claims to love. These men are often found to not contribute to the relationship they are in and show little or no care or respect for his partner and will continue to expect her to hold the entire relationship together all by herself whilst he laps up the comfort of control and does nothing to help contribute or support the relationship. He will not show emotions when challenged or he may eventually turn to violence.

        Ignoring a partner may also be a sign of infidelity or a man who is not in control of his own emotions and shuts down. Regardless of the circumstances, mental abuse and the negative power of the “silent treatment, being deliberately ignored or the ATCH” abuse is never the less very damaging for those on the receiving end and needs to be address by either the abuser entering therapy or for the victim to leave the situation. If the man recognizes he’s an abuser lhe can seek help from a professional help. The victim must seek professional help to get out of such an abusive relationship before she is so worn down it will diminish her life slowly but surely.

        When does the silent abuse turn into physical abuse?

      • Divine… I’m just hurting so much. When my twin left me, I was upset and crying all day. It took me months to be comfortable alone, focusing on creative outlets, even though she NEVER left my thoughts for more than 10 minutes… NEVER.

        Now, she speaks to me again. But she hasn’t forgiven what I have done to her. She now says I’m her soulmate… as friend. This is MEANINGLESS. She talks to me at random, and I feel so connected to her. I regenerate in the beauty of her voice. Then she disappears. And that’s when I’m going insane. I never know if she’s going to disappear on me for months.

        I was ready to give up on her. I’m getting too upset being treated like a dog. I told her how much she has hurt me too. That’s something she can’t accept: that she has hurt me as much as I have hurt her. She cannot accept her bad side. She got angry at me for pointing out what she did to me (it’s not the first time, that topic always got her angry). She said she’ll never speak to me again.

        Then she contacted me one hour later. She confided in a secret. Something VERY bad that I have done in my past, that she had judged me for and been angry at me… She told me she had done the same too in her past. I was speechless.

        She said she wasn’t so much angry at me, as she had been angry at herself. I know from reading this site that all the issues she has with me are issues she has with herself… Ego issues. It’s something hard to believe but she keeps confirming it.

        I wasn’t even surprised to hear that. I described in another post how much similar she is to me.

        It looks like she’s starting to accept who she is. And accept me. At least, that’s what I thought. Today, we spoke.. And now she seems to be hiding from me. This emotional rollercoaster is very hard on me.

  53. Hmm. Getting ignored here too. HFEOZHFOEZIFHOE. Hate this Earth. Yeah, I’m supposed to learn patience, blah blah. Didn’t ask to learn stupid lessons. Didn’t ask to learn to tame my physical reactions with my mind. I’m not masochistic.

    • Hi Sebby… You are not being ignored. Some lessons you have to learn on your own as difficult as it may seem…

      Sebby there are angels watching over you right now but they can’t intervene. There are lessons you need to learn on you own with no interference for you to truly get it. Keep fighting your way through it’s almost over. You are going to look back on this experience and smile when it’s over. You may even miss the heartache and the drama a little…

      It’s like a dad teaching his little girl to ride a bike. He held the bike steady for her the first couple times but eventually he has to let go so his little girl can do it on her own. He may even stand back and watch her fall couple times. And, as painful as those falls were she needed to fall to pick herself up and also to the lose that fear of falling. After a couple falls there will be no more fear…

      Fear is the enemy of progress…

      Falling down and falling in love are apart of growing up. You are going be bruised and hurt in life… It’s all apart of the process. It cannot be avoided, but with every fall or heartache you are gaining experience, learning lessons and becoming stronger, wiser, learning about your self and getting over your fears.

      You are alright Sebby… You are good :-) you are right were you need to be…

      All is well and going according to the Divine Plan…

      • Thank you, Divine.

        I don’t smile when I think about my past negative experiences. Each negative lesson makes me weaker and more traumatised. The wisdom I gain is to avoid those situations. I don’t want to experience the pain they bring again. Wouldn’t that be foolish?

        For the bike example… If bike = broken leg… Well, I don’t want to break the other leg.

      • Sebby, I understand what you are saying but if you find yourself in another similar situation you would be better prepare the next time around so it would lessen the effect. The first around is like shock to your system because you have never experience anything like that before. It’s like losing your virginity… The first time hurts but after awhile it gets better and eventually you start enjoying it and it becomes fun.

        Just like how you can only lose your virginity once you can only go into a soul shock like that once. And, the thing with a shock like this to your soul – the core of your being… Everything after that seem to be a breeze. No one or anything can ever hurt you again once you get through it. I have been tested and I have even put myself through situation that a year ago would have driven me crazy, terrify me or caused me tremendous pain and I didn’t feel a thing. It’s like life is comedy or a movie and you are the director or creator of the film. You see things differently and you are so much more aware of your surroundings and people behaviors, interactions and reactions.

        I have been practicing removing myself from certain situation to see what would happen if I do not intervene and just let things happen. My biggest fear and the cause of my greatest stress and worries used to be I felt I had to shoulder other people burdens and I felt responsible for other people. Now, after putting myself through situations where I sacrificed myself to my detriment. It kills that need to be a savior or rescuer. If I help I help and if I don’t I don’t… It doesn’t add or substract anything from me. I am still who I am at the end of the day and was always who I am. I just is… :-)

        Face your biggest fear and work your way through it… Nothing can hurt you after that… You become invincible…

        If your fear is getting your heart broken… Put yourself in situations to get it broken a few more times then you become immune to it… To get rid of it you have to face it and play with it and you will realize it has no power over you…

      • Divine, my big fear right now is that my TF has a reckless behaviour and she’s pretty much committing suicide. If I don’t get her back this time, there will be no next time.

        She only told me what she had been doing a few days ago.

        She has self-destructive dating habits and she doesn’t use condoms. She dates guys with high STD risk (tattoo’d ex-cons, alcoholics, etc.) She’s already had two relationships since she dumped me.

        She can only date so many guys like that before she catches AIDS. She knows the risks but she doesn’t care. She feels suicidal.

        I got over my insecurities months ago so this is not the issue anymore.

        I never accepted her fully because I saw her as a cheap whore. I always felt disgusted and saw her feelings as cheap. I only realised the depth of my love after she dumped me. In truth, in intentions, I’m as much of a cheap whore as she is. I was only jealous of her and angry at my own cheap feelings.

      • Sebby, it sounds like you haven’t fully dealt with all your issues… You still blaming your twin for your issues… But, at least you accept that you and your twin are very similar and the issues you have with your twin are the same issues you have with yourself. Just focus on yourself and clearing up your issues and you will realize the issues you had with your twin vanish into thin air… You see them in your twin because it’s in you. Work on accepting everything about yourself whether you deem it good or bad or others see it as bad or good… Fall inlove with all of you and you will realize your need for this person lessen tremendously… You won’t go into a panic if you don’t hear from them because you are not looking for them to fulfill anything in you anymore.

        Jealousy and possessiveness plays a big role in this relationship too… You can never truly possess or own anything or anyone outside of yourself. All you have control of is you and your reaction to certain things and situations. When we blame others and point fingers we are not fully in control of ourselves and we are really upset and disappointed in ourselves…

      • I needed more than just a couple of falls, but I finally get it.

        Thanks Divine and Sebby

      • Hi Netty :-)

      • Hi Divine, :) :)

  54. Well, here’s the convo. It was hard on me cause I knew I’d anger her (she gets angry at the slightest negative comment about her). Now it’s certain she’ll disappear. So I’m officially giving up.

    Ashley: u are no one to tell them to use condoms
    Ashley: and he doesnt sleep around
    Sebby: im someone who cares for u
    Ashley: HE WAS MY BF U IDIOT
    Ashley: NO
    Ashle: my relationships are none of ur business
    all u do is hurt me and punish me for everything
    Ashley: i dont trust u
    Ashley: and now i just hate u
    Ashley: for all the dmg uve done

    • Sebby, it sounds like she still have strong feelings for you. The other guy is probably a rebound and she is using him to get over you. People say some harsh things when they are upset but regret is later. I myself have said some cruel stuff in the past. However, I only got angry at people I truly love. Eventually, all the anger will leave her soul and only love remains. These days I don’t even know how to get upset anymore. I try to get upset and end up laughing at myself :-) . That last bit of reside is leaving her… She will be in a state of pure bliss soon…

      • Dear Divine,

        you said that “you only got angry at people you truly love. ”

        But what can the girl do with the fact that her twinflame never gets angry at the woman he has been living with for five years, and says stuff like :” I love you, you’re one in a million, you fit me in all the aspects but I don’t need you in my real life. My woman doesn’t have the qualities that you have and she doesn’t undestrand me as you do, she is unable to digest my whole thing, etc. But I won’t leave her in order to be with you”.

        I can’t understand anything…

    • Dear Sebby,

      I understand your situation quite well.
      I so much cared about my tf’s life, health, inner condition, art, etc, and the more I cared and loved him, the more angry, rude and insane he became. He abused me and my feelings so much that I didn’t write him for two weeks. I always tolerated all the vagaries of his but that time I just couldn’t take it anymore. He sent me several messages tried to find out what the matter was. I finally answered him, I told him that he had hurt me and that he had done that constantly despite the fact that I had never done anything bad to him, I had always loved him and had given him everything I could, and I said that I didn’t understand why the man who used to tell me that he loved me wrote what he wrote… And that I didn’t know how to react to his words, what to think and what to do.

      In response to my message he wrote:

      “nothing of all that makes sense to me. I mean, what the Fuck is it that you want? What? I suggest we stop everything. I have no need for your mood swings. I am definitely not going to try it”.

      ” I finally saw you how you really are: irascible, undiscerning and totalitarian.” ( that was a sentence in which he described himself, his description has nothing to do with my character…)

      “Anyway, I hope that you find peace and love and please dont write me unless you have something intelligent to reply. I am not here to listen to your emotional and self-pitying rants.”

      He periodically hurt me and when I tried to tell him about that he always got angry, saying stuff like :”Well, if I’m such a bad person who does not treat you right then stop dealing with me and stay away from me”, hurt me more and more, knowing that I’m afraid to lose him, compelling me to beg him to forgive ME for his nasty words and beg him to stay with me.

      Today’s long and painful letter seemed to be the straw that broke the camel’s back and despite the unbearable destructive pain and feeling of loss (like somebody cut off the piece of flesh from my chest) I don’t want to write him anymore. I’ve always been afraid of our separation, I felt it would happen because he was absolutely not ready.

      So, seems like I’m giving up too.

      At least for a period of time necessary to heal my wound.

      Still I love him so much…

    • Sebby, I know there is lot more to a relationship than what we can express in few 100 words. But here is my observation.All the things yo put in bold are obviously the things that hurt you most. And they are- her bf..met in condom..Just an advice as a friend..Why do you need to know her sex life details. I know we all feel curious..but this is like living in hell. Don’t give too much attention to her relationship with her bf. Don’t ask questions about it and if she tell you tell her not to.It obviously bothers you that’s y its in bolds…Just focus on your relationship with her.
      And last comment of her “YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT”. I don’t know if I will be able to explain this. But let me try..learn to separate FACTS from all other BS. From little of what you have told, FACT IS she came back even after you two hurt each other. Have some faith in your relationship and in her ..BS is her calling you piece of shit. That’s just her way of expressing herself when she is upset. It does not mean anything more. She is hurting right now. Give her time and space. She needs to sort it out on her own. You cannot do anything. Just wait..let her know you love her and will wait until she sorts it out. And then accept her with open arms. If she is suicidal and it is really serious then she needs professional help. And that’s up to her to decide. She is alive.managed to survive when you were not part of her she will survive now too. When we love someone it is very easy to feel overprotective about them..but WE ARE ONLY RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR FEELINGS. If you know in your heart you did nothing to hurt that she knows too and she has to figure it out on her own whatever is bothering her. And as for her hurting you.. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR FEELINGS. If you are hurting it’s not because she hurt you..but because you cannot handle it.. and need to be more strong. You need to figure out what you can do to avoid getting hurt..(not asking too much about her current relation could be a good place to start). You make your own choices. No one forces it on you. You chose to be in this chose to take all this crap ..because you love the way she makes you feel..So you are here by your own choice..not because she forced you into this situation.

      • Thank you all very much for the replies. This is not her current relationship. This is a fling she had. I didn’t ask to hear details about her relationship… SHE forced me to hear, and I was crying as she told me. She doesn’t care for my feelings, she wanted to vent about it. She said… If you don’t shut up, I’ll give you the most gruesome details.

    • By the way, I never wanted to bring any of this to her. I only wanted to vent in here. Then, I took a large, very large dose of Xanax… To help dealing with my feelings. And that’s when things turned ugly. I don’t even clearly remember what happened. I saw we had a 2 hours chat on Skype, which I don’t even remember having. Then those were the last words on text. And I know that I fucked up. She’s very sensitive and self-critical and it was not time for me to bring the STD topic.

      • And I will say this… With the Xanax. I feel like a zombie and this is a good feeling. I don’t even care about anything about this anymore. She blocked my emails, she’s going to get STDs… All of that sounds like from a story in which I’m not involved. So I’m going to take more when the effect wears off.

      • BTW… 90% of our arguments happen when I was drunk. I drink 2x per year and it’s too much. I have stopped drinking alcohol but now I follow therapy to get better. My dr prescribed me Xanax. I took too much at a time to ease the pain, but nothing really outrageous according to him (I did call him).

        In really, it made me the same as drunk. So I brought all my fears to her, all the STD talk. Exactly everything I didn’t want to tell her. I’m not really sure what it was because it was a voice convo.I only see what she typed in conclusion. I knew she wasn’t ready to hear about it…

        I didn’t say one mean word. I expressed my worries. But she thought I was being mean as I used to call her a cheap slut (when angry at her) and it fits the topic.

        At least, she denied having STDs currently which means she got tested. I know she gets tested often. It’s a relief to me. She got angry at me, but I hope my words that angered her… that she will remember them… and be more careful.

        It sucks I lost her for that… But maybe it was necessary. I didnt like being the bad guy bringing this, when I had been sweetalking her for days to seduce her back. I didn’t use to love her enough, she felt it and dumped me. I thought I had to show her my infinite love now, but she doesn’t seem to want it anymore. She called me creepy for sending her emails every hour. Nevermind that she used to cry if I left her for 30 seconds.

      • Keep expressing your feelings Sebby. Eventually you will have nothing left to be angry about, nothing to complain about, nothing left to be sad about… You will see what life is really worth. You will really start living and truly enjoy everything life has to offer. The ups and downs will not affect you as much… You may just lose that dependency on alcohol or xanax. I see a person that’s very angry with themselves… You need to forgive yourself and ask a higher power for forgiveness as well. Read A Psalms a day for deliverance when you feel like you need that Xanax or alcohol. God listens… I haven’t been responding or reading comments on this blog for a while… But, something bigger than me made me respond to you. Like I said earlier there are angels around ÿou. Ask for deliverance and you shall receive… You have a direct channel to God…

  55. Lol. I’m one little inch from killing myself. Already had a failed attempt last year. But I can’t take no more.

    And I was (kind of) fine until she re entered my life. I had hope for the future. But now, I know there’s NOTHING to look forward.

    Thank you so much for your replies. Strange you felt pushed to respond to me. There are a lot of good ppl on this site. You chose to respond to me.

    Are you an angel or what? That’s not impossible. Nothing, NOTHING is impossible.

    Love you.

    • Sebby, I knew you had suicidal thoughts but I didn’t want to bring it up. Something told me you have been through a lot. Your soul has been through hell… But, it’s over my dear… I felt you in my spirit. More than I have felt anyone… Just get those negative thoughts out your head. Amazing things are ahead for you but you have to be alive, awake and alert to claim your reward. You don’t need to do anything anymore just let go and let God… God will take it from here… Don’t think, don’t try to fix anything, just surrender completely and accept your present situation for what it is right now and the right people are on the there way to give you what you need to get to the next level and closer to your destiny. Also, whenever you reach your breaking point just yell out I done, I can’t do it anymore, no more pain and it will be over. You are the only person that can stop it. You just need to say the word God is listening.

      I love you too Sebby :-) Maybe we will meet one day ;-)

      • I don’t even believe in God… At least not the Christian God… That one is a ***hole who sends ppl to Hell for eternity for mistakes HE put in their flesh. So I don’t know what I believe. Close to nothing.

        And the right people… I don’t want them. I’ve always been a misanthrope. And I don’t wanna betray my soul mate. I am definitely not gonna date another girl.

        Divine, you’ve been so kind. I’m so sorry for wasting your time.

      • When I say God I am referring to a higher power, a force, a vibration that moves through everything in the universe including different people at different times. God is not religion nor is a God religious. Being religious as nothing to do with God. You may not believe in certain religion and that’s fine but don’t let that deter you from getting to know God. God is real… God will take away all that pain in a second. I was in your pain and I thought it wasn’t going to end. Now it’s over, there is no more pain. I have been emptied out and relieved of all my burdens. I am free to be and do whatever I want and I have God’s blessing and protection and I know it.

        Sebby you have not wasted my time at all… I enjoyed talking to you. Your situation mirrored some of my past issues. To be honest those things you said Ashley told you. I had use similar language and exact words to someone I care about. Eventhough I am a changed person now your situation is like a reminder of how far I have come…

      • :’(

        I hope you are right that it’s over soon. Yes, I have been through Hell. Beyond Hell.

      • Sebby, forget I say it will be over soon. It’s over now… Just let go of your hang ups with religion and God. God is in you and God is in me, and the God in me allow me to connect with the God in you. You have to shake that stuff off that’s keeping you from seeing the light…

      • I just did something crazy… She’s had issues with her dad for long (basically, they are both stubborn). I never contacted him cause she’d hate me for that. It’s the ultimate betrayal for her.

        But I did anyway. She needs to make peace with her parents. That, is a fact. All her insecurities come from them. She will hate me for this, for long, maybe forever. I let my fear of her getting angry at me go away.

        I told her dad everything… How much she needs him… How much she’s been hurt… What a great person she is. BTW their last conversation, he said that he hated her cause she’s a bum…

        I went crazy. But I think I did what was right, what my heart told me is right. I was inspired by what you told me.

      • Sebby, that’s all you. You need to own and take responsibility for all your actions and anything you do. I will not take credit or blame for the outcome of anything. I said you should face your fear… Your fear is losing Ashley. So, your challenge was to lose this person that you believe is your everything. That will cure you.

        Now, after you truly believe it’s over for good and you have moved on that’s when you are cured. she may or may not come back in your life but when she does she will not have that power over you anymore.

        You have to learn to be happy and content with yourself and life without this person. So whether she is in or out your life you are fine either way. She is doing the same to you like the Xanax and the alcohol.

        Fix YOURSELF Sebby… You can’t fix her and she can’t fix you. Like the alcohol and Xanax, she offers temporary relief that cause you more pain when she withdraw from you. She is your addiction as well.

        You seem like a very intelligent person Sebby go do some research and breaking an addiction and share that information on here… I know you care capable of finding the best information on curing an addiction. Then we can have a discussion on addictions and you can get your mind off her for alittle while and eventually you will be cured…

    • Sebby, it is obvious you are not acting rationally and have become a danger to yourself and to Ashley. GET HELP NOW!
      Divine, coddling him and encouraging him to heal himself is not going to change the fact that he is dangerously stalking her at this point and involving himself in things that are none of his business (her new lovers, her father).
      I wish there was a way of contacting this poor girl and warning her of what is going on publically in this forum without her knowledge. I would advise her to obtain a restraining order immediately and conceal her contact info and whereabouts. Sebby, you are on drugs and alcohol and destroying not only your life, but that of the person your obsession has led you to believe is mutually involved in your delusion.

      My advice to other posters on what should be a positive board, PLEASE DO NOT ENCOURAGE THIS PERSON TO HAVE ANY HOPE OF HER RETURN. I foresee an ugly ending to his obsession.

      • First of all… She doesn’t have new lovers. As for her father, I emailed him and forwarded it to her. If she wants a restraining order, she can get it herself.

        If you think that’s worth a restraining order… I could get one of her last time she contacted my own dad.

        You’re the one mendling into something that’s not your business.

      • Now, I had to delete my diary I shared below… Something that was meant to be shared with people who go through the same as me… You SCARED me and I was afraid you use my personal information against me. You’re really a sad person.

      • Gemini! Sebby is fine… You need to worry about yourself. Sebby is perfectly fine… Sebby is just going through a rough time right now. I understand Sebby… Sebby will not hurt a fly or Anyone… Sebby is just venting and venting is a good thing.

      • BTW. Her father was glad to speak to me. He had never met me. Something positive might come out of it. I think it will.

      • Divine, you are right. I am not going to hurt anyone. I’m a being of unconditional love now.

        And GEMINI. Your words hurt me, and you ruined my diary in which I invested a whole month. But I forgive you. You are angry at someone, maybe your soulmate, and took it out on me.

      • Sebby, I hope this experience doesn’t stop you from expressing yourself. Expressing yourself through your writings was helping you to heal. Sometimes seeing our thoughts in writings or speaking our thoughts to someone can be great relief. It takes a certain burden off you. Anyways, I am here if you need to talk but I think you are fine now. You are good to go ;-)

    • well divine do ug ea

      do u have skype or something to talk

      im in no state right now

      • Sebby you are fine… You are good… You are perfect… You are amazing. You haven’t done anything wrong. Sebby, what happen is sometimes when you are doing so well the devil doesn’t like that and the devil comes along in different forms to deter our progress or instill fear in us.

        There is no need for you to be fearful of anything. You have paid your dues and God is happy with your progress. You have come along way Sebby, a very long way and now is not the time to give up. You do not need me and I don’t want you to feel like you need to talk to me to be ok. You are strong and you are doing great. You need to do this on your own… I am just here to let you know… You are amazing and you are on the right track and God need you to stay strong and know that all is well.

        Gemini was a test… And, you forgave her. You passed the test Sebby. She doesn’t know any better. Luke 23:34 ” forgive them; for they know not what they do…” Not everyone can see Sebby… Some people are blind.

    • Divine..; its upseting. her dad dnt wanna talk no more cause im drunk. he sadi tomrrow. but tomorrow is too late for me. he doesnt realise. gona try to OD right now.

      • Sebby, go to sleep you need some rest… You had a rough day. Go sleep it off… Hugs

      • Sebby, did you find any good information on addiction? Can you please look up some information on addiction for me? Thanks in advance :-)

      • The best addiction info that I have found is from Dr. Phil.

        Anyone can do it. The keyword is “It’s not willpower, it’s programming.”

      • Thank You Sebby ;-) :-) ;-) Hugs… Great info… I am glad to see you are well again.

        Article posted below;

        Seven Steps to Breaking Your Addiction

        Most people make resolutions at the beginning of the year, only to break them before the month is over. Whether you want to stop drinking, quit smoking, gambling or simply spend less time on the computer, Dr. Phil has advice.

        1) Acknowledge the purpose.
        Why do you do it? You have to be able to answer that question. Is it to help you deal with anxiety and stress? It may be hard for you to admit that you have a drinking or smoking habit, but you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge. Dr. Phil says, “What purpose does the behavior serve for you? If you’re an alcoholic, you’re not just drinking because you’re thirsty. Admit to yourself: ‘I’m medicating myself for anxiety, depression and pain. It numbs me to life.’”

        2) Think rational thoughts instead of denial.
        You understand at a conscious level, at an intellectual level that your addiction is unhealthy, yet you continue and this perplexes you. Dr. Phil points out, “If you’re in denial about it, if you’re minimizing it, if you’re trivializing it, if you’re conning yourself about it, then you’ll never get where you need to be.” If you can’t get through the day without a shot of vodka, you may be medicating yourself for anxiety, depression or pain. You may need to count on others to help you think rationally.

        3) Use alternative coping skills.
        People don’t break bad habits; they replace them with new ones. Recognize that you get a reward from smoking or drinking. Dr. Phil explains, “It calms you. It takes your anxiety away. It lifts your spirits. It numbs you to the pain of your life. If I take that away from you and then don’t put anything in its place, then you’re just there stripped of your coping mechanisms and you’re going to go back to what you were doing before.” Some alternative techniques to consider to replace your addiction are breathing exercises or relaxation techniques.

        4) Identify your danger zones.
        A danger zone can be a particular time of day or your reaction to a particular circumstance. There are times that you’re more prone to indulge in your habit than others. Recognize what those times are, and do something that is incompatible with the addiction you’re trying to break. For example, if you have the urge to light up during your 3 p.m. break at work, take that time to do your breathing or relaxation exercises instead. Dr. Phil encourages, “If you get through that two or three moments of impulse, I promise you it will go away.” You don’t have to be strong and powerful all day long every day. You just need to recognize your danger zones, and do something incompatible with your addiction.

        5) Make lifestyle changes.
        “It’s not willpower, it’s programming,” Dr. Phil says. You have to set your life up for success if you’re going to break your addiction. If you’re trying to stop smoking or drinking, try simple things like not carrying money for cigarette vending machines or cleaning your cupboards of alcoholic beverages. You may have to change the places you frequent, what you do for fun and whom you hang out with. If you are a computer junkie, remove the computer from your house. The best way to stop an addiction is to not have access to it.

        6) Be accountable and have a support system.
        Being accountable to someone means that that person will not only support you, but will give you the kick in the rear that you need when it gets tough and tell you the truth when you’re kidding yourself. Get your family and friends involved in your efforts to kick the habit. If you’re a smoker, print out these cards from Dr. Phil that warn your friends to refrain from indulging you. You can also find addiction support on the message boards at You need to find a community that supports you during this time and embraces your decision to be healthier. You may also need to seek treatment or check into a rehabilitative program.

        7) Reward yourself.
        Overcoming an addiction can be very difficult, but it can be done. When you see yourself making progress, even baby steps, you have to motivate yourself to keep going. Give yourself credit. Reward yourself for every step you make, starting with admitting that you have a problem and asking for help.

  56. Here is my diary. Entirely dedicated to my TF. I wrote one entry every day. Now I’ve stopped. If anyone reads it, or has comment… leave one.

    • Sebby sorry you had to remove your journal after you have invested so much time and energy into it. Everything happens for a reason and maybe letting your journal go is letting your addiction to Ashley go as well. This is the beginning of a new phase of your life. I think Gemini is upset that I spend so much time responding to you and I haven’t responded to Gemini… Gemini is jealous that’s all… :-(

    • Sebby, I am glad to see you have restore your online journal… Don’t let anyone put fear in you like that again… Thats your method of healing yourself AND getting rid of your obsessive thoughts. No one should be criticizing or judging anyone on here. They are all on this site for a reason, if they were perfectly fine they would not have been searching and they would not have found this site. People judge what they don’t understand… It’s not your fault it’s their ignorance…

  57. I’m sorry about this… The pages in my diary start at the bottom (all of them) for some reason. Just wanted to add that warning. Link will show when approved.

    • divine

      im not an alcohlic

      i dnt smoek pot

      i drink 2x a year

      i have no addictin

      i habe n addiction info

      imin n stateto find it

      i just


      cant take thells

      cant take the lossofmy soulmate


      she adimitteled being my soulmate

      except she adde dthe shit fried word to it

      whcih is bullshit


      i know wee were gonna end together


      i dont have toe

      the patience

      u knows?

      im sorry for disappointing

      i never learnt patience

      • I knew that comment would sober you up… Now you making sense again… Goodnight Sebby :-) You are good… Talk to you another time…

      • im not osber

        im fucked uo

        im takin all pill i can find

        i love u

        i dont balem

        its not ur fault im craey

        im just

        at ten end of my ljfe

  58. im not going to lseeep im gonna take ALLL pills i can find

    whoever created karma, chaser, runner

    i tell them fuck u

    its too cruel

    i cant go tyhrough it

    ii die

    • That’s the pain talking Sebby… It’s leaving you. It can no longer stay in you. You are Love…

      • divine th u so much. ur great. u tried to hep; but im gonna di enow. itstoo late it ant be stopped. im sorrry

        i truly love u. u understand soulmate relationshio

        i’ll be punished

        have to go through it again maybe



        but i cant take it anymor

        i swallowed so much already

      • Sebby you are full of shit… I’m gonna feed you to Gemini

    • i dont even undertstand.. wy full of shit. id idnt nothing wrong

      i dd nothing wrong in my life

      i coudla been better

      but id idnthurt anyone
      that didnt hur me first

      • You still haven’t send me the information on addiction… I am still waiting for that information.

  59. divine

    ic ant send anty info

    i a

    i cna bafrely read

    i cant send info

    im very ery smar

    but im fucked up

  60. Divine, There is some truth in what Gemini wrote. I am sure you must be realizing it by now too. This guy needs help. Unless you are a psychiatrist by profession stop acting like one. If everyone could take their place we would not need professionals. And just because Gemini’s opinion differed from yours you call her jealous. Label her as Devil and then try to act like a bigger person by forgiving her. Wow .. Just wow..

    • Anne, Sebby is just being silly. Sebby just has a weird sense of humor. Sebby and I are just messing with each other. Sebby and I get each other mindset and is just playing mind games. You are taking us way too seriously.

  61. Hey everyone. I am desperate for some help or insight. If appreciate any help, thank you so much.
    So I won’t go into detail, I’ll try to keep this as to the point as possible.
    I’m 19, female and since I was about 16 I’d been dreaming of my soul mate. I imagined him as an older man and everything being so lovely.
    Well, as what usually happens to us, the universegave me something I wasn’t expecting. My soul Kate or as I know now, my twin flame came in the form of a wonderful girl a few years older than me that lives halfway across the world.
    Long story short, I felt an instant connection. Woke relationship grew and grew. We spent EVERY hour we possibly could together texting or skypin. I helped her through her depression and I was there for her whenever she needed. And she recovered. we began to crave each other desperately.
    Finally we were able to meet. This summer. She flew all the way to me. Across the ocean. It was the best two weeks of my life. And she was happier than ever. As was I.
    When we parted, it was the saddest event ofmy life. We just loved each other so much and cared about each other more than anything.
    Then one day she said she didn’t feel as strongly. It has been a struggle some then. About four months ago. Things have been getting worse. At first we tried to fix it. She didn’t want to feel this way. She didn’t know why she did. We tried everything. It hurt so bad. But as time went on she lost her feelings even more a she found a very good friend in her dorm and began spending all her time with this girl and eventually they became FWB. At the same time, I was looking for a boyfriend. But mostly only to prove to my parents and society that I could get a bf. I had never a boyfriend before and the pressure was getting to me. I finally found someone and we started dating. I assured my TF it was only cause of the pressure of parents and society and it wouldn’t last long. She didn’t mind and was okay with it. I made she she was. I trust her, we have a lot I trust in our relationship. As that began with me, she began to slip away more and more. And here I am now, after many days an months of hurt and pain and suffering like never before, I am here. To seek help and assurance. I have been trying to figure out if I should just let it go or hold on. After these hard months I have just began to let go of my attachment and I am going to break up with my boyfriend very soon. But it dosent look good with my TF because now she won’t even admit she loves me. I know she cares and I can’t see how our love could go away like that. I just need to be with her and show her what we had was special. But even the memories of when we were together don’t hold much weight for her anymore. I tried not contacting her for two weeks but she was busy with her new FWB and didn’t seem to be affected. Now we keep in touch but it’s nothing like it was. I don’t know what to do. I love her so much. If anything I just wish she would admit she loves me and what we have is special to her. I’m at wits end and it’s only been four months. She’s convinced she won’t get her feelings back and she dosent want to force it. I’m trying to let go and rid my attachment. I have been feeling a little freer and been generally okay the last few days. But I don’t know where to turn. What should I be doing? What shouldn’t I be doing? How can I remind her of what we had? How can I convince her it’s not over here?

    Please anyone’s input would be so valuable. I have been feeling things I never felt before, like extreme pain and hurt and the disgusting feeling of being so desperate and insecure. I’m moving past those things lately. But I still am so lost. She is so important to me. I never had what I have with her. It’s so special.

    Thank you to anyone who takes the time to help. I send my love to you all.

    • What you are feeling echoes so much with me. I was 19 when I met him . Feeling helpless, desperate , insecure. how one person could turn your world upside down while that person could walk away so easily. Wondering about why’s .. Could have been’s. And when you have an honest relation you cannot even hide behind silly reasoning. You know other person is telling the truth. Not playing games. Not trying to hurt you. Not trying to make you jealous. They care.. That’s why they don’t want to lead you on.I feel for you. I wish I could tell you what to do. But cannot. TF relations survive the test of time. But getting back together might take months..years.. And it might not be permanent. You have to find your peace somehow. For me I found my peace when I stopped fighting this feeling.. Stopped trying to move on. Stopped hoping to get back together. Just accepted that This person will always be special. It still hurts to be apart and probably it always will but I am thankful that I got to experience something so wonderful. Stay till your heart can take it and walk away when it no longer can. Have faith in destiny. If you are meant to be together it will happen. It might not be how you wanted it to be or when you wanted it to be but it will happen.

  62. Divine, don’t you dare call me judgmental. When a person is posting that they are stalking someone and washing down pills with alcohol to die, there is nothing threatening or judgmental about telling them they need help. The fact that he posted all these delirious comments about killing himself and yet is still here PROVE that this person is in DIRE need of help. I got called the devil by you, you referred to me using scare tactics, I am truly humbled by your superiority. And as for Sebby forgiving me, I never apologized nor am I sorry for stating that you have psychological problems and are a threat to yourself and others. Your forgiveness may mean something in your mind and if it makes you feel better, so be it. I will never apologize for calling you out.

    • Hello Gemini. You cannot deny being aggressive: look at the tone of your post, and the sarcasm you are using. That aggression suggests that you are being hateful but I believe you are only projecting your own fears on me. You clearly stated in your story that you fear looking like a psycho:

      “Because he had said he couldn’t be my friend, I have not initiated any contact with him out of respect for his wishes and out of protecting myself from looking like a psycho b*tch.”

      I did humiliate myself and made myself look like a psycho, and yes my comments were completely delirious. However, this is not true that I’m a threat to others. I haven’t harmed anyone, never planned to, and won’t. That part is made up by you, perhaps to rationalise your sentiment. I was at the bottom but now I’m feeling all right.

    • Gemini, first of all I was talking about Anne for the most part concerning the judging comment. And, the previous comments I mention using your name those were about you because you scared the life out of Sebby. I felt a drastic change in him and I felt the need to comfort him. I do not believe you are a bad person Gemini. I actually liked you and felt I could joke around with you. But, I still felt you intervene in a situation that wasn’t necessary and you caused more harm than good in that situation. This blog is about Soulmates, soul connection and telepathic connections. You intervene not knowing that Sebby and I had a soul connection and a telepathic connection. I was reading Sebby and I understood Sebby and it was more than what he was writing. I saw beyond that and I knew what to do to make him snap out of it. I have connections with various commenters on this blog. So, if I am talking to someone, it doesn’t matter what I am writing or we are saying to each other. It’s beyond that and it’s only me and that person understand it…

      All I am saying is if it doesn’t concern you leave it alone, you might do more harm than good. ;-) I still like you Gemini… I think you are ok, maybe this distraction will take your mind off your twinflames for alittle while… :-) :-) :-)

      All Is Well

  63. I’d love to know, if the runner still feels the connection? once i asked that though i know it’s silly. of course he does. thats why he came back :)

    ah gawd most confusing and painful relationship ever. i think my biggest question would be – even though our relationship fits twin flames – im not sure if we are.
    ..and then i get scared of letting him go because of that. thankfully im starting to hit a place where i know we need to do whats best – ourselves. and it hurts.
    Are there other relationships where you come together and its intense, full of love and there’s psychic connections but then go through turmoil, only to reconnect, and then find that the only person who can grab the other out of lost depths and into sunshine is themselves?

    Sometimes he infuriates me because i know he can do better. He has hurt me harshly but i know who he is inside so its a toss up of feelings but in the end i love him so ive always backed off the negative and pushed forgiveness. he tells me he doesn’t trust me. years ago i broke the bliss stage (maybe he cant let go of how hard i broke his heart.. we stayed together for years after that btw. i know he didnt want to let go. although everytime we fought it ended in him breaking up with me for a few days). He has always been so hard on me, in general he has very high values but ive seen him forgive others or not care about their actions and they drag him through the mud, but he’ll turn around and say he doesnt trust me when im nothing but honest and love him so much. i know i confuse him and he has always expected more from me.. when we were together it was a heavy feeling to carry that he was constantly judging me (which now i feel like i was silly for getting insecure). I just never got it, i only wanted us to work things out, but then i couldnt pinpoint anything wrong either. Except when i had previously hurt him – which in one way logically it shouldnt be so bad but feelings wise i dont even know what to say to him to make it better – but theres no way thats still an issue – how?- :(.. i pushed him to fix things but then also became insecure at the same time because i didnt know if he trusted me. I just wanted to be open, i wanted to feel what we had before, i wanted to go further, but i also wanted to feel free. we eventually broke up and he said “i cant be with you. i could for the rest of my life. im sick of constantly thinking. i will always love you. im not in love with you.” He recently said (this is 2 years later and 6 months of on and off contact) – i dont trust you.. I thought maybe its because hes scared of trying, or maybe its the same feeling i get from knowing he can do better- it just doesnt make sense. I used to think i need to do something to fix this. but i have a new feeling about it all – hes not open anymore, hes hitting rock bottom and i cant pull him out :( how can he love me if he doesnt love himself, although i do know that he loves me. omg my head..

    maybe hes just a dick and im obsessed and can feel him cause im empathic (i am) and what we’re going through is to learn about the self – but not as tf? Im scared that if i let him go, thats it :( and im scared to work on me too actually.. im trying to figure this out because feeling my way through might be blinding me and making me think things that arent there or are, but they dont mean what i think they mean.. like shouldnt i just know? do i know? would there be a feeling of knowing that he’ll always be in my life? i think he will be in and out in some respect but im not feeling the outcome anymore. I feel like im just too close with him but never close enough

    …any opinions?

    • There’s possible another relationship called soulmate. It’s up to you to figure out what it is.

      “That means when soul mates marry, they appear as if they are twin souls, but the discerning can pick up certain tell tale signs, which can differentiate one from the other. Although their love and harmony are usually of a grand affair, there will still be fuel for spiritual growth. Fuel in this instance means fodder for disagreements and misunderstandings leading to fights and even separations.”

      Full info:

      If you are scared to let him go because he might not be your TF and won’t come back, then in my opinion it’s actually a good reason to let him go. If he’s your TF, he’ll come back. If he’s not, do you really want to cling to a random man who doesn’t care for you?

      I have the same issue with my TF. She doesn’t want to talk to me because she can’t trust me anymore. Only unconditional love can forgive everything and I don’t want anything less. If love is not unconditional, then it’s as worthless as poo.

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